------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------- Ranma 1/2 "An Emotional Day" Hard Battle Story by Douglas MacDougall ------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------- Ranma 1/2 (c) Rumiko Takahashi / Shogakukan * Kitty Film * Fuji TV. Exclusively licensed throughout the United States and Canada by Viz Communications, Inc. This fan fiction is for private home use only; it may be freely redistributed, but not altered or used for profit. Not Rated. Parental Guidance Suggested. ------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------- Part 1 How Can You Hide a Thing Like That For Nine Months? This Too is Part of the Anything-Goes Style! ------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------- [At Furinkan high school, strange noises can be heard from within the Kendo club practice hall. Outside, a cool breeze blows through the trees in the dark of the night. Inside, the hall is lit with a single flickering candle. A young couple hold each other's hands and look deeply into each other's eyes.] BLUE THUNDER: This heavenly date was slow but sure in coming. Long have I waited for this day, my love! My faithful (if twisted) sister has finally put her alchemy to good use. Now that wretch Saotome is forever gone and you are mine! PIG-TAILED GIRL: I'm free of that boorish oaf forever, my darling! I can finally express my true feelings to you! BLUE THUNDER: As it should be, my sweet. PIG-TAILED GIRL: Tonight and forever more, my mind and body are yours. Let us consummate our love, my darling! BLUE THUNDER: Pig-tailed girl, I would mate with you... [Kuno descends upon the Pig-Tailed Girl, taking them out of camera shot. A breeze picks up outside and autumn leaves drift through the open window.] PIG-TAILED GIRL: Mmmm. You really know how to handle that stick of yours, don't you? BLUE THUNDER: Indeed, I am the rising star... PIG-TAILED GIRL: Oh, Kuno... [The breeze picks up even more, and the candle flickers out.] [Darkness.] [A malevolent voice chuckles.] RANMA: NNNnnnOOOoooOOOOooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOO! [Ranma sits bolt upright, wheezing, panting, and clutching his chest. Or rather, her chest.] RANMA: Just... Just a nightmare... That's all it was. [catches breath] Aw, man, I've got to learn to stop eating Akane's cooking before bed. Only she could think up a "special July 4th dinner". Why were we even celebrating that stupid holiday? Fireworks in the sky are one thing, but the explosions in my poor stomach... [Ranma rubs her bloated tummy.] RANMA: ... [A tortured girl's cry breaks the morning silence.] AKANE: [jogging] That was Ranma! [Akane picks up her pace and runs back home. As she runs in, Soun and Nabiki are reading sections from the paper, and Kasumi's humming can be heard from the kitchen. None of them seem interested in Akane's arrival or the earlier scream.] AKANE: [under breath] I can't believe this family! [Akane runs upstairs to Ranma's room and peeks in the open door.] AKANE: Ranma? [The room is empty.] AKANE: [thinking] Where is he? Oh, well, I better wash off. [Akane walks down to the bathroom, and hears noises within.] AKANE: Ranma? I'm coming in... RANMA: [shrieking] No! [calms down] Uh, I mean, no. [uneasy laugh] AKANE: [concerned] What is it? RANMA: Nothing. Just... Just give me a second. [rummaging noises] AKANE: Ranma, I have to clean up before school. RANMA: [muttering] Oh man oh man oh man. [crashing noise] AKANE: [concerned] Is something wrong? RANMA: Ah... No? AKANE: [annoyed] Then I'm coming in. RANMA: NO!! [to herself] If she sees me... AKANE: Are you... hiding something from me? RANMA: Eep. [The rummaging noises get faster. The startled noise is all the admission of guilt that Akane needs.] AKANE: You are! What are you hiding from me, you jerk?!? [Akane opens the door to the changing room, only to see girl-type Ranma in her boxers and T-shirt, facing away from the door. She is sitting on the floor, frantically rummaging through a scattered pile of bras and panties. Apparently finding what she was looking for, Ranma quickly pulls out one of Kasumi's nightgowns from the pile and starts to put it on. AKANE: WHAT... Are you DOING?!? RANMA: [wincing, but not turning around] I- I can explain this! It isn't what it looks like!! AKANE: Face me and DIE, PERVERT!!! [hefts shinai] [Ranma turns just in time to see the bamboo sword descending.] AKANE: [shocked] Ranma... you're... [The sword falls out of Akane's hands and lands on the floor with a loud clatter.] AKANE: PREG-- [Ranma dives to cover Akane's mouth.] RANMA: Don't say that!! AKANE: [whispering] You're pregnant! Pregnant! RANMA: No! AKANE: PREGNANT!!! [covers mouth] RANMA: It's... I can't be! It must be gas! Or... something... AKANE: [pokes Ranma's swollen belly] You can't tell me this is gas! RANMA: Could you stop that? [pained look] AKANE: "It's not as bad as it looks"?!? This is MUCH WORSE!!! RANMA: I've got to still be dreaming... [whimpers] AKANE: You weren't like this YESTERDAY!! [covers mouth again] RANMA: You think I don't know that?!? [pinches face] Ow... AKANE: Stop playing around Ranma! How... how did this happen?!? RANMA: How should I know?!? [rubs cheek] AKANE: YOU'RE THE...! [deep breath] You're the mother! RANMA: Shut up!! [desperate] Do you want the whole house to hear? AKANE: I don't think you can hide this sort of thing... RANMA: [irritated] I'll.... I'll think of something! AKANE: Like that gown? RANMA: Hey! It's a start! [frowns] AKANE: You're pathetic. RANMA: Hey! It's the best I could do, okay? [Ranma rubs her stomach and frowns. The two are silent for a while.] AKANE: ...Ranma? RANMA: I feel horrible. AKANE: Don't worry, Ranma. We'll... think of something. RANMA: No, I mean I feel horrible. AKANE: You think you have... morning sickness? RANMA: [looks even more sick] I hadn't thought of that... [shakes head] No, I'm not nauseous, it just... hurts. [A few more awkward moments pass.] RANMA: The pain's gone now. AKANE: Oh. That's good. RANMA: It's been coming and going. AKANE: Coming and... Going? [mild panic] RANMA: It hurt really bad when I woke up a couple minutes ago. I guess I couldn't even think straight. Like putting this dumb robe on it's going to hide this. [sighs] That last one hurt even worse, though. AKANE: [medium panic] Yes...? RANMA: I feel like I'm going to explode. Like there's this big pressure building up in me. [touches navel] AKANE: [extra-spicy panic] Oh...? RANMA: [mutters] I'm an "outie", now... [looking miserable] What? Why are you looking at me like that? [Akane backs towards the door, not taking her eyes off of Ranma for an instant] AKANE: K- K- Ka... RANMA: [realization dawns] Oh, no! That's not gonna happen! No! [shakes head uncontrollably] Nothing's coming out of ME!! NOOOooo! AKANE: KASUMI!!! ------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------- End Part 1 Preview of Part 2: ------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------- KASUMI: We're not sure what to do with Ranma. I really think we should bring her into the living room where we can make her more comfortable, but she doesn't want her father to find out... [...] RANMA: No way! No WAY the old man's seeing me like THIS!! [...] GENMA: Too late! You can't keep secrets from me, boy! [...] SOUN: But you look beautiful! You're so radiant when you're pregnant. [...] AKANE: ... ------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------- Next Time: Fathers Know Best! The Pregnancy Power Law of Practice. ------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------