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  Ranma 1/2     "The Nature of the Curse"
 Hard Battle    Story by Douglas MacDougall
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  Originally posted 9 July 1999, and last modified 27 July 1999.
  The latest parts and revisions of this story are available at:
  http://www.dougmacd.net/fanworks/
 
  Ranma 1/2 (c) Rumiko Takahashi / Shogakukan * Kitty Film * Fuji TV.
  Exclusively licensed throughout the United States and Canada by Viz
  Communications, Inc.  This fan fiction is for private home use only;
  it may be freely redistributed, but not altered or used for profit.

  Not Rated.  Parental Guidance Suggested.
    
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   Part 12      The Proof is in the Pupil
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    "When the hell is Pop getting home?"  There was nothing left to 
watch on TV, and Ranma was getting tired.  As he lay on his side, with 
his legs under the low-set dinner table, he wondered how much longer he 
would be able to avoid going to bed.  Leaning over, he hit the power 
button on the television and sat up.  Glancing outside, he couldn't see
the tent Ryoga had set up in the yard.

    He hadn't complained when the lost boy said he'd camp out instead of
staying inside or in the dojo.  "I've got to stay nearby, so Akari can
find me," he'd said.  "But I don't know how long it will take for her to
get here.  I wouldn't want to get in your way."

    Kasumi and his mom had protested, but Ryoga had managed to convince
them otherwise.  Ranma frowned.  That guy was getting to be a pretty
good fast-talker, recently.

    Maybe Ryoga would let him sleep in his tent?

    He beat his head on the table.  What was he thinking?  That was the
absolute last thing he wanted to do!  His immediate fear was putting him
on edge, and making him forget Ryoga's stupid story.  Akane would kill
him if she found out he'd crawled into Ryoga's tent!

    "Ranma?"  his mother called from the top of the stairs.  "When are
you coming to bed?"

    Ranma jumped up, banging his knee against the table.  Wincing, he
responded, "Uh, I'm just waiting up for Pop to get back..."  Crap.  He
needed an excuse not to go to bed.  But she wouldn't accept him sleeping
downstairs.  And 'camping out with an old friend' was out of the
question...

    He heard her footsteps come down the stairs and down the hall. "Your
father is out drinking with Mr. Tendo.  If I know them, they won't be
back until the early morning."  She approached the door to the room and
slid it open.  Ranma restrained a sigh of relief to see his mother
already changed and wearing a robe.

    In a uniquely motherly way, Nodoka chided her son lovingly, "You
really should get some sleep."

    "Ah, yeah, Mom."  He hastily pulled his legs out from under the
table, got up, and scratched the back of his head.  It looks like he
might not have anything to worry about, after all.

    The past few days, his mother had been all too willing to change in
front of him.  He knew she thought it was manly to peep, but this was
just a little too weird, even for her.  It was like she wanted him to
look at her.  He shivered at the thought.  With the old man gone, there
was no way he had wanted to be alone with her when she put on her little
show.  Fortunately, it looked like he had been spared.

    She placed her hands on his shoulders, and rubbed his knotted 
muscles.  "You're so tense.  You really mustn't stay up this late if you
intend to train early in the morning."

    Ranma willed looseness into his shoulders, letting them droop.
"Don't worry about it, Mom.  I mean, the old man's not going to be in
any condition to spar in the morning, right?  I'll just go change..." He
started to walk to the pantry.

    "There are pajamas in the bedroom."

    Uh oh.  She might have already changed; he still had to.  Did she
want to watch HIM take his clothes off?  "B- But, my favorite ones are 
in the laundry."

    "Ranma," she chastised.  "You really shouldn't be sleeping in dirty
clothes."

    "It's... just for the night.  Don't worry about it.  I'll see you
upstairs."  With that, he quickly ran to the laundry, leaving his
puzzled mother behind.

    "Oh dear," she said.  "His shyness is only getting worse!"

           *           *           *           *           *    
    
    He had taken his time finding the wrinkled yellow pajamas in the
hamper, but even after drawing out his return trip as long as possible,
he still found his mother awake in their room, waiting for him.  She lay
in bed and watched him come in.

    "Um.  Sorry about taking so long."

    "It's quite alright, Ranma."  Her words were supportive, but there
seemed to be a sad look in her eyes.  Well, maybe not sad, but a little
unhappy.  Lonely, maybe?  After letting Genma back into her bed, they
had become quite the cozy couple.

    Ranma went to the corner and pulled out the futon.  He unfolded it 
off to the side of the room, so he wouldn't have to worry about the old 
man stepping on him if he came through the door before he got up.

    "Ranma?"

    "Yeah, Mom?"  He turned around to see that his mother was now
sitting up, looking at him.  One of her hands were smoothing out the
covers next to her.

    "Have you ever... slept in a bed?"

    "..."

    "Ranma?"

    "Uh...  I gotta... Just remembered... Drink!  Glass of water!  Be
right back!"  He darted out of the room and thundered down the steps and
into the kitchen.  Oh, crap.  Merciful crap.  His mother wanted him in
bed with her.  His old man was out and Mom wanted someone in her bed!

    When he realized he was hyperventilating, he poured a glass of water
and choked it down, trying to settle his nerves.  In a splash of
inspiration, he doused himself with the rest of the glass, becoming his
distaff self.

    "'Auntie Nodoka isn't like that!'  Yeah, right, Akane."  Mentally
preparing herself, Ranma slowly walked back upstairs, thinking up as
many excuses as she could to stay out of her mother's bed.

    "What's all the racket for?"  Akane was standing at the end of the
hallway.  She rubbed her eyes with one hand, gripping her shinai in the
other.

    "Akane!" she hissed, "You've gotta help me!  Mom wants to sleep with
me!"

    "What?"  She seemed to be waking up much faster now.

    "She wants me to sleep in her bed!"

    "Ranma, we already talked about this.  Don't be--"

    Nodoka called from inside the room, "Ranma, are you alright?  When
are you coming back to bed?"

    "--stupid."  Akane was now fully awake, and dropped her shinai with
a loud clatter.

    "You gotta help me!"

    "B- But what--?"  Akane was slowly shaking her head.  Had she
completely misjudged Nodoka?  There was that peeping incident, when she
had encouraged Ranma, but Akane never figured her for a pervert.

    Then again, the woman did marry Genma...

    Ranma held her. "I know!  Say you heard a noise or somethin'
outside your window, and that you want me to protect you!"

    Akane choked on the concept.  "Is that the best you could come up
with?!"  She picked up her shinai.  "I can take care of myself."

    "Geez, I know that already!  I'm just trying to--"

    "Ranma?"  Nodoka stepped outside the room, back in her robe.  She
was looking with puzzlement at her son and Akane.   "What's going on?"

    The redhead stuttered, "I, uh, that is Akane--"

    "Ranma wants to sleep in my room," answered Akane.

    Ranma gave her a startled look, but didn't say anything.

    "Is this true?"

    "Well...  that is..."

    "Of course, if you want to sleep with your fiancee, I won't stop
you."  Akane couldn't read Nodoka's expression.  That couldn't be
jealousy, could it?

    "Aheh...  I'll just go get my futon..."  With Nodoka still standing
by the door, Ranma slipped through and pulled out the mattress and
sheets, dragging them into the hall.

    Throughout, Akane and Nodoka stared at each other.

    "I'll just set this up in your room..." she nervously laughed as she
stepped past Akane.  Akane made no attempt to move aside as Ranma pulled
the futon in.

    Nodoka still wasn't going back to bed, and Akane wasn't about to 
leave, either.  Ranma poked her head out, and asked Akane, "Uh, if 
you're ready?"

    "I'll be right in."

    Nabiki threw open her door and muttered, "What's with all the noise,
you people?  Some of us are trying to sleep!"  She looked in either
direction and saw first Akane, then Nodoka in some sort of staring
contest.  Small smiles almost imperceptibly grew on their faces.  Then
they simultaneously turned around, with Nodoka stepping into her room,
and Akane walking back down the hall into her own.

    Nabiki closed her door with more force than strictly necessary and
climbed back into bed.  "What the hell was that about?"

           *           *           *           *           *    

    Ranma only knew a few training exercises you could perform while 
lying down.  If Akane could see under the covers, she might have noticed
that the other girl wasn't actually lying down, but was holding herself 
up with the tips of her fingers, to either side of her hips, suspending 
her torso and legs horizontally in the air through sheer abdominal 
power.  It was an exceedingly demanding position.

    A true martial artist's power comes from his gut, boy!

    Ranma tried her best to ignore her father's advice, but it had a 
tendency to pop into her head while performing these dumb exercises.  
Sweat dripped down her brow.  Holding this position for more then thirty
seconds could be considered a form of torture.  She'd been doing it for 
two minutes.

    At least the strain was making her numb to the fluttering in her 
stomach.

    "Ranma?"  Akane whispered from her bed.  
    
    Unable to maintain her concentration, Ranma's fingers crumpled, and 
she dropped silently onto her futon.  "Yeah, Akane?"

    "Can I ask you a question?"

    "Sure."

    "How many times did you sleep with Ryoga?"

    Ah.  The nightmares were going to come before unconsciousness, 
tonight.  "Wh- What?"

    "This afternoon you said you'd slept with him.  How many times?"

    "Uh..."  Ranma's mind raced.  Ryoga's damned story about the two of
them being a couple.  What had she said about their supposed 
relationship?  'Just because he's been sleeping...'  And she'd never 
finished the sentence.  That implied more than once, right?  Great.  

    "A... couple times."  Her stomach started to ache, so she turned 
onto her side, coincidentally facing away from Akane.  "In his tent."

    The scary part was, it was true.  She had slept with him, when he 
was under the spell of the magic fishing line to 'catch the caster's 
love.'  She'd gotten up before Ryoga, and made him some breakfast.  
Ryoga had flipped out when he finally woke up, having a man cook for 
him.  

    It was just as well that he never found out that Ranma had snuggled 
next to him in the middle up the night.  Hell, he'd never find out if 
she had anything to say about it.  Because the worst part of it was, 
she'd been a guy at the time!

    "But it wasn't in the same sleeping bag!" she hastily amended.  
    
    "Oh.  So you didn't have sex?"
    
    Ranma had a heart attack.
    
    Akane continued, oblivious.  "I was just thinking.  Ryoga always 
gets nosebleeds around pretty girls, but he never does around you.  Is 
that because you've been so intimate together...?"

    Ranma turned towards Akane and desperately tried to choke out a 
denial. "N- N- Na-"
    
    "Just kidding."  Akane leaned over in the moonlight, sticking her 
tongue out.  "If you'd really had sex, he wouldn't get ANY nosebleeds."
She giggled.
    
    "G- Geez, Akane!  Don't say weird things like that!"  Ranma's heart
started beating again.  "I'm goin' ta sleep!"  Once again, she turned 
away from Akane.

    After a moment of silence Akane said, "You're no fun."

    Ranma only grunted.

    Akane sighed and pulled the covers over her head.  Hidden from the 
world, she put her hands over her chest and took a deep, calming breath.
She had been SO scared!  Even if Ranma and Ryoga had slept together, 
they hadn't SLEPT together.  She curled up her legs and grabbed her 
knees, comforting herself.

    Relieved, she quickly fell to sleep.  For moment, just before she 
was completely unconscious, she saw a glaring inconsistency with Ranma's 
story, but the thought soon melted away, and was forgotten with the rest
of her dreams.  

           *           *           *           *           *    

    "Not a cloud in the sky!"  Akane leaned back, casting her gaze 
upwards.  Her school bag was in one hand, and her other was around 
Ranma's arm.  "Isn't it beautiful?"

    "I guess."  In Nerima, a blue sky didn't mean much.  There could 
still be a rainstorm by lunchtime.  Still, it was an unusual sight.  
There really weren't any clouds at all, even the wispy ones really high
up.  Although the blue was washed out near the horizon due to the 
pollution of the city, directly above it matched the color he remembered
from the years travelling with his old man.

    A bump at his side brought his eyes back down.  It was Akane.  "You 
need to lighten up."  She leaned up against him, wrapping her arm around
his.  He swallowed, looking at the slight frown on her face.  

    He turned his head away.  "Maybe if you hadn't woken me up with a 
bucket of water..."
    
    "It was HOT water.  I thought you'd appreciate it."
    
    "In the bathroom, maybe.  Not in bed.  You could have just said 
'wake up', or given me a shake or something."

    "Did you sleep well?"

    He faced her again, and blinked at the non-sequitur.  "Huh?"

    "No bad dreams?"
    
    He scratched the back of his head with the arm that Akane hadn't 
claimed as her own.  "I guess not.  If I had any, I don't really 
remember."  Probably his subconscious couldn't outdo the nightmare he'd 
already experienced yesterday.

    "...That's good."  She sighed.  "I can tell it's going to be a great 
day, today."

    "Couldn't be much worse than yesterday, right?"  He gave a mirthless 
laugh.  Akane seemed to hold him more tightly.  

    "Don't say that, Ranma.  I'm sure it's all for the best."

    "Um," he murmured.  He'd settle things with Akira as soon as he saw 
him.  Because of that guy, Akane thought he turned into a girl all the 
way.  And she'd been acting REALLY weird ever since.

    Like that question about dreams.  Where had that come from?  And 
after dinner last night, she'd had this weird smile, like she knew 
some secret that he didn't.  When they'd gone to bed, she hadn't even 
told him not to do anything perverted.  Of course he had been a girl at 
the time, so maybe she didn't need to say anything...

    And that comment about having sex with Ryoga!
    
    But what about the way she was hanging off him now?  It's like she 
suddenly started acting like a normal girl.

    That kind of worried him.  He didn't understand normal girls at all.
Shampoo he could understand, and Ukyo.  Maybe Nabiki.  But they weren't
'girlish' at all; they were martial artists.  Well, martial artists and 
a money-hungry teenager.  

    Akane...  Sometimes he understood Akane.  Maybe it was because she 
was a 'sometimes' martial artist.  He understood her when she was angry,
or wanted to fight.  Half the time he insulted her so she'd get riled up
and start acting like the Akane he knew. 

    He glanced down at her, as she continued to lean against him.  He
didn't know why she was acting so weird, but for some reason, he didn't 
feel like riling her up, either.

    Still, he would have liked to know why she had started acting 
differently.  Lost in thought, he almost realized too late that he was 
off-balance.  Akane wasn't just leaning against him, he realized; she 
was shoving him!  He took a quick half-step to regain his normal stride 
and not fall over.  "What're you doing?" he asked.

    Her only response was too lean into him harder.  Annoyed, he leaned 
back into her.  They probably looked pretty stupid walking along like 
that.  
    
    She unwrapped her arm from around his and used both hands to shove 
into his shoulder, pushing him across the road and towards the fence by 
the canal.  "C'mon, you dummy!" she said.  

    "What is wrong with you?" he finally asked.

    "Out of the WAY!"  She gave him a last violent shove, causing him to 
trip and stumble sideways.  A moment later an arc of water intersected 
Akane, getting her backside wet.  She brushed the back of her skirt, as 
excess water dripped off, and gave him a dirty look.  "Geez, can't you 
watch where you're going?"  

    "Uh..."  Embarrassed, Ranma glanced at Akane and the woman ladling 
water out onto her steps.  He'd been walking right towards the woman, 
and Akane had been trying to steer them away.  "I guess I got things on 
my mind."

    She frowned at him momentarily, annoyed either at him or maybe about 
getting wet.  "You're acting really weird, you know."  

    Ranma tried his best to control the coughing fit that followed.

           *           *           *           *           *    

    "Looks like rain, huh?"

    Akira blinked, and looked up into the sky.  "Not particularly."

    Hiroshi thumped the fabric object the other boy was carrying.  "So 
what's with the umbrella?"

    "It's always best to be prepared."

    "You know those things fold up, right?"

    Akira adjusted his glasses and replied in an exasperated tone, "Yes,
I'm aware of that fact."

    Hiroshi frowned at the response, and took another look at the black 
umbrella, which Akira was carrying around opened like some sort of 
parasol.  Maybe Daisuke could explain it to him, but the dark-haired boy
hadn't arrived yet.  "So why are you--?"

    Akira's bandaged fingers tightened their grip on the handle.  "I 
don't want to get wet."

    "But there isn't a--"

    "Yes, I know.  There's no clouds.  But there's the canal.  Pools.  
Fire hydrants.  Pipes.  Small children with water pistols.  Everywhere I
go in this city it's like someone or something is trying to splash me.
I won't have time to pull out the umbrella and open it in time to avoid 
getting wet, so I'm just keeping it out and opened."

    "You sound just like Ranma!"  Hiroshi grinned.  "Hey, have you ever 
been to Jusenkyo?  He'n Shampoo seem to have problems getting splashed,
too."

    "I lived there all my life, up until last week."

    "Didja fall into one of the springs?"

    "No."

    "Oh.  Were you pushed?"

    Akira stopped short.  "What?"

    "Were you pushed in?  
    
    "No, I--"
    
    "Didja jump?"

    "No!  What are you--"

    "Baptized in one of the pools?"

    "Who on Earth would...?  NO!  None of those things.  You don't live
and work by Jusenkyo without learning how to avoid the springs.  It's a
survival skill."

    Hiroshi shrugged.  "If you say so.  Still, it sounds a lot like 
Ranma."

    "It's quite possible to have bad luck with water without being 
cursed."  He pointed.  "Look, there's Akane.  She's wet, herself!"

    "Hey, yeah."  And Ranma wasn't.  AND Akane had her elbow crooked 
around Ranma's.  What was up with that?  "Hey, RANMA!"  Hiroshi 
bellowed and waved to his friend (and sometime-babe).

    The martial artist noticed him and started walking over.  "Nice 
umbrella," he told Akira acidly.

    "Uh... Thanks."  Akira wilted at Ranma's glare.

    Hiroshi said, "Hey, Ranma.  It sounds like Akira here has the same 
problems you do with water."

    "Really?"  He arched one of his eyebrows.
    
    Akane let go of Ranma's arm and spoke to him. "I'm going to go to my 
locker to get some spare clothes.  I'll see you in a bit, okay?"

    "Okay."  Ranma watched her walk off.  Hiroshi looked back and forth 
between the fiances.  How long had they been acting so...  familiar?

    Akira spoke up, interrupting his thoughts.  "Ranma, I hope you're 
not upset about--"

    The pigtailed boy whirled on him.  "You!  Thanks to you, Akane 
thinks I'm some sort of pervert!"

    Startled, Akira stepped back.  "What?"  
    
    Hiroshi titled his head in confusion.  "Akane's always calling you a 
pervert, Ranma.  Why's it suddenly such a big deal?"

    The martial artist looked at him as if he'd forgotten he was there.
"Uh..."

    Akira asked, "Why would she think you're a pervert at all?  I 
thought I made it perfectly clear that it's the blind spot of the curse 
that makes you act--"  He was rudely interrupted as Ranma hefted him up 
by the collar.

    "I do NOT act..."  He glanced at Hiroshi.  "The curse doesn't work 
that way on me."

    Hiroshi was getting lost.  "Huh?  The curse doesn't work what way on
you?"

    Ranma growled, "Nothing."  Akira just squirmed in the air.

    "What's the big deal, then?"  Hiroshi eyed his friend warily.  He
couldn't recall ever seeing him so worked up.  Usually nothing could 
faze the guy.  Well, that wasn't really true, but he never got mad.  
He'd just happily beat up the source of his problems.

    Where was Kuno, anyway?

    Ranma finally replied, "Akira thinks that the curse affects my 
head."

    "But it does!  You only think-- ulk!"  Akira's rebuttal was stopped
short by a quick shake from Ranma.  Hiroshi thought he could hear the 
fabric of Akira's jacket start to rip under the strain.

    "And," added Ranma, "He says that it's affecting my head so that I 
don't REALISE that it's affecting my head."

    Hiroshi blinked, trying to make sense of what Ranma was saying.
"What do you mean, affects your head?"

    A slightly dazed Akira raised his finger.  "He thinks like a g--"  
Another strong shake silenced him.  This time Hiroshi was sure he heard 
a tearing noise.

    Ranma didn't notice, however.  "Uh... Like water.  He says I don't 
notice water, which is why I'm always walking into it."

    "Huh."  Hiroshi scratched his head.  "I guess that kinda makes 
sense..."

    Akira woozily lifted an arm and said, "R- Ranma."  His head bobbed 
about, and his glasses were no longer on straight.  Ranma flicked his
arm again, whipping Akira for the third time.  The strain was too much 
for the collar, which ripped off of Akira's jacket, causing the taller
boy to fall on his butt.  Dark threads wisped away from the piece of 
fabric and backing now held in Ranma's hand.

    Ranma frowned and tossed the collar aside.  He stepped over towards
Akira.

    "wait."  Akira wobbled.  "Wait.  WAIT!  Ranma!"  He waved his arms
frantically in front of himself.

    "Yeah, what?" he snapped.

    "I won't say anything, just don't hurt me!"

    Hiroshi bigsweated.  Not at the upperclassman, all but whimpering on
the ground, but at Ranma, who seemed to be bullying the nerd.  He tried 
to calm his friend down.  "Ranma, what's so bad about what he's saying, 
anyway?"

    Ranma shot a look at Akira, as if daring him to speak, but he was
looking at the ground, trying to find his glasses.

    "It's not true," explained Ranma.  "I don't want Akane thinking
that the curse messes with my mind, or nothing."

    Hiroshi laughed lightly, "Well, it's not like it makes you think 
you're a girl or anything!"

    Ranma twitched.

    "Right?"  He continued to laugh, although more uneasily.  No one
else was laughing with him.  Where was Daisuke, anyway?  "Uh..."

    Akira finally cleared his head, got up, and said, "Hey, Ranma.  Is
he your friend?  Does he know you?"

    "What?  Yeah, I guess," replied Ranma warily.
    
    "Yesterday you said I could ask anyone who knows you, and they could
tell me you don't act any differently.  So he should know, right?"

    "I suppose..."  

    Hiroshi had taken the opportunity when the two were talking to each 
other to trail his laugher off to nothing.  Hopefully they hadn't 
noticed.  What were they talking about, anyway?

    "Hiroshi," asked Akira, "have you ever known Ranma to act... 
differently, when he's cursed?"

    "What do you mean?  He's always cursed."

    "When he's in his cursed form," he clarified.  

    "Oh, when he's a girl!"  For some reason, Ranma twitched again.
"Well, he's done some stupid things.  Dressed up as a girl a few 
times."  He leaned over and whispered conspiratorially, "He looks great 
in a bunny costume, by the way."  

    Akira's eye twitched.  "But he doesn't act any differently?"
    
    "Naw."  He scratched his chin.  After some thought he added, "Well, 
he does act like a girl a lot..."

    Ranma clutched his chest.  For some reason he appeared to be in 
physical pain.  

    "Hey, are you okay, man?"

    "Don't tell him that!"

    "Huh?" He looked between Ranma and Akira.  Ranma was angry, while
Akira had a look of predatory hunger that matched one of Nabiki's.  Even
after seeing Ranma's earlier acts of violence, he was more unnerved by 
the nerd.

    "So.  He acts like a girl.  Could you elaborate?"

    "I, uh...  When I say I acts like a girl, I mean he ACTS like a 
girl.  Badly."

    "Hey!"  Ranma's pride made him take offense at the remark.

    "He gets all cutesy-wootsie, and says, 'tee-hee', and giggles and
stuff.  Pretty sickening, but it gets him free food.  Well, the cute act
and that hot girl-type bod of his."

    "So he's just pretending.  For food?"  The answer seemed to 
disappoint him.

    "Yeah.  Pretty much."  Hiroshi nodded.

    "See?" yelled Ranma in a righteous tone.  "I told you!"

    Akira frowned slightly.  "It doesn't really prove anything.  Just 
that he doesn't THINK you act any differently.  He's hardly an expert, 
and, as I said, your cursed side might just not know how to act 
feminine.  How much experience do you really have--?"

    Ranma practically exploded again.  At least this time there wasn't 
any grabbing or lifting.  "Geez, what does it take to convince you!
You've got me, Ukyo, and now Hiroshi here all pointing the truth out to 
you, and you STILL refuse to accept it!

    "Awfully convenient that all your explanations just HAPPEN to make
it so that if I deny it, it's just the curse blinding me, and if a 
friend denies it, it's because they don't know any better?!?"

    Hiroshi suddenly realized something.

    "You think Ranma turns into a girl!  Body AND mind!"

    They both turned to face him.

    "Y- You honestly think..."  He started to chuckle, "That Ranma, Mr.
Macho, really turns into a girl?"  He almost fell over, laughing.  "I 
can't believe it!"

    Ranma turned and smirked at Akira.

    He wiped his glasses off on his jacket.  "It still doesn't prove 
anything..."

    Hiroshi wiped a tear away, and caught his breath.  "Geez, I've known
him for over a year!  I'd KNOW if he turned into a girl!"  Man, there
had been times when he really wished it were true, too.  Imagine, a 
friend you could talk to like a guy, but turned into the hottest girl
you could imagine!  You wouldn't have to put up with all that weird
relationship stuff that real girls wanted.  You could talk to her, and 
she'd make sense!  The perfect girlfriend.

    Of course, Ranma would be less enthused about the idea.  Not that 
he'd ever told him, of course!  He'd tried to put the moves on his 
girl-half, back when they'd first met, and had been shot down soundly.  
Well, beaten up, actually.  Man, Ranma'd kill him if he ever found out 
that he thought he'd make the perfect girl.

    Akira took on a lecturing tone, "I've lived and worked by Jusenkyo
for a decade.  I know how it works!"

    Of course, if what Akira was suggesting were true, then maybe...
Wouldn't it be worth finding out?

    "Forget it, Tsu.  Just admit you're wrong, for once.  You can't just
come sauntering in here and claim you know everEEE!"  A splash of cold
water later, and Hiroshi was hugging Ranma from behind, fondling her...
upper torso.

    "What the HELL are you DOING?!?"  she screeched.

    "It's the scientific method!  He says you should act like a girl, 
so I'm performing an... experiment to find out for sure."  His voice
dropped down to a throaty whisper.  Or at least a raspy one.  "Tell me, 
Ranma, do you... FEEL like a woman?"

    As he said the words, he flicked the tip of her chest, causing Ranma
to stiffen.  "Hmm, these should get hard."  He rubbed his fingers along 
her thin shirt, feeling her...

    "PERVERT!!!"  Ranma reached over her head, behind her back, and 
grabbed Hiroshi's shoulders.  With a vice-like grip, she grabbed hold, 
heaved him over her head, and flattened him on the ground in front of
her.  "You are SO DEAD!"

    It probably wasn't the best time for Daisuke to arrive.  "Hey, 
what's up?  Hiroshi?"  Ranma had his friend pinned to the ground by his 
shoulders, and was radiating battle aura.

    "B- But!" Hiroshi waved his hands.  "I was just proving you are --
I mean AREN'T -- all-the-way female!  If you're a woman, your nipples 
are supposed to--"

    "I'll 'woman' you!"

    Daisuke helpfully supplied, "Don't you mean 'un-man'?"

    Hiroshi turned and whimpered, "Dude!  SHUT UP!" 

    "What is WITH you people?  Why does everyone want to feel me up?!?
I'm almost used to Happosai.  But Ryoga!  And you!"  She was breathing
heavily, tightening her grip on Hiroshi.  The heat of her battle aura 
was singeing his shirt and making him sweat profusely.

    Yes, that's it.  It was the heat of the battle aura that was making 
him sweat...

    "I, uh... Eep."  Hiroshi had nothing more intelligent to say as 
Ranma lifted him up by the scruff of his neck.  He knew what was coming
next.

    "DIE!"  She punted him into the sky.
    
    Daisuke blinked.  "I..."  Ranma wheeled on him.  Those couldn't
possibly flames in her eyes, right?  If those were really flames they'd
evaporate all the liquid in her eyeballs and they'd bulge and holycrap.
"I'llbegoingnowbye."  He scrambled off in the same direction Hiroshi 
had gone flying.

    Akira swallowed, looking around.  There was only one male left in
the area for the redhead to vent upon.

    Akane walked up with a steaming kettle.  "Are you alright?" she 
asked.  "I heard shouting."

    Ranma blinked.  How'd she know to bring a kettle?  She'd only been a
girl for a minute, not even long enough for Akane to make the walk from
the school to where they were standing.  In a daze, she replied, "Y- 
Yeah, I guess I'm okay..."

    Akane carefully poured just enough water over her head to make her
turn back into a him.  

    "Thanks."

    Akane continued to hold the kettle, which was still at least half-
full with water.  "What's going on?"

    Ranma jerked him thumb at Akira.  "China boy, here, refuses to admit 
that he's wrong about me'n the curse."

    "And Hiroshi...?"  She pointed at the sky.

    Ranma face darkened.  "He wanted to find out for himself whether or
not Akira was right."

    The taller boy interrupted, "I never suggested that he--"

    "Yeah, whatever," Ranma cut him off.

    An uneasy silence fell upon them.

    Akane asked Akira, "What would it take to prove to you that Ranma 
isn't affected by the curse the way you think he is?"

    "What?"  Ranma glanced at his fiancee.

    "Well..."  Akira adjusted his glasses.  "He'd have to show me that 
his female half does not exhibit any feminine mannerisms."

    "Hey!  You already talked to--"

    Akira raised his finger.  "He'd have to show me in a completely 
objective way.  His own judgment is suspect, as are the observations of
his friends."

    Akane prompted him, "So what sort of 'objective measurement' could
you do?"

    "They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul..."
    
    Ranma frowned.  "Huh?"
    
    "Of course, that's not precisely true.  The sclerae and irises are 
opaque.  The true windows are the pupils."
    
    Akane shook her head.  "I don't understand." 

    "When a human sees something in low light, their pupils dilate, or
get bigger, to let in more light.  It's the body's way of getting more 
information.
    
    "However, the pupils also dilate when a person wants to get other 
visual information.  For example, if someone sees something interesting,
or attractive, the pupils will also dilate."

    Akira turned to Ranma.  As a boy, the difference in height between 
the two of them was about fifteen centimeters, but Ranma was 
uncomfortably reminded of yesterday, when Akira had towered over her 
girl-body by twice that amount.

    "If a woman sees a man that interests her, her eyes will dilate.
It's subconscious, and uncontrollable."

    Ranma rolled his eyes.  "Get to the point."

    "If I show you pictures of women and men to you in your girl-form, I
can watch your reaction.  A martial-artist like you can probably mask 
the reactions of your body, but you've got no control over the 
contractions of your irises!  I'll be able to see whether your cursed 
form prefers boys or girls."

    "Prefers boys?"  Ranma wrinkled his nose in disgust.

    "It also means I don't have to worry about HOW feminine your girl
side is.  Even if you're a tomboy, it shouldn't affect the test."

    "I am NOT a tomboy," hissed Ranma.

    "Although, now that I think of it, the test won't help that much if 
you're a lesbian..."

    "I AM NOT A LESBIAN!" yelled Ranma.

    Akane beat him on the head with the partially filled kettle.  
"Ranma!"

    He winced.  "What'dya do that for?"

    "Not so loud!  What are people going to think if they hear you say
that?"  She was glancing around the schoolyard.

    "Who cares?  Everybody here knows I'm a guy!"  He said it 
challengingly, trying to stare down Akira.

    "Well, I'll be able to gauge that for myself, now won't I?"  The 
other boy leaned away from Ranma's challenging gaze, but the lenses of 
his glasses ended up reflecting the morning sunlight into Ranma's face.
"All I need are some photos."

    "Set of five, only one thousand yen."

    "Ya!"  Akira leapt back three feet, drawing everyone's attention.
"Wh- Where did you come from?"

    Amusement spread across Nabiki's face.  "Why, I'm always there to 
help people in need," she purred.  "How about it?"

    "Uh..."  He nervously took the sample photos and started flipping 
through them.  "But they're all girls," he muttered.

    Nabiki arched an eyebrow.

    At one photo, Akira's eyes grew wide, and looked at Ranma.  Then 
back at the photo.  "This is---"

    "Well, they're not ALL girls."  Nabiki smiled.

    "You posed for this?"  He passed the photo back to Ranma.  Bored, 
the martial artist wondered what shot Nabiki had taken this time.  Hmm,
he wasn't even topless.  He was wearing panties and a bra, arcing her
back and pouting to the camera.
    
    Panties?

    He looked at the photo again.  It was from months ago, taken
when he had been trying to get Happosai to release his battle aura, so
he could defeat him with the Hiryu Shoten Ha.  "I-- I destroyed all
these!"  He glared at Nabiki.

    Akira muttered, "And you seriously expect me to believe you don't
act like a--"

    Ranma cut him off.  "It isn't what it looks like!"  Bad enough that 
Akane and now Hiroshi thought he acted like a girl.  If Nabiki found 
out, he'd never live it down!  

    Nabiki pointed out the finer aspects of the photo to Akira.  "I also 
have some topless shots, if you're interested."  

    "HEY!"  Ranma fumed.

    "She's quite the exhibitionist, eh?"

    "I am NOT an exhibitionist!  I'm a guy!  That's not my real body.  
It doesn't matter if people see my..."  He gestured.  "Chest."

    Akira asked, "Really?  What about when you swim?"

    Nabiki chirped in, "Yeah, what about when you swim?  If it doesn't
matter if people see your top, then swimming trunks should be enough, 
right?  Or a bikini bottom?"  Yen symbols danced across her eyes.

    Ranma turned red, from anger or embarrassment.  Akane might be able
to tell, but she was sitting cross-legged on the grass, holding her 
forehead, and trying her best to disassociate herself from Ranma and his 
outbursts.  "Like I need all the perverts at the beach to stare at me or
try'n grab me!"

    "And you!  You're ogling that picture you know nothing about and 
using it as an excuse to call me--"  He glanced at Nabiki and grunted in
frustration.  "To back up your so-called theory.  I shoulda known you'd
never admit you were wrong."

    Nabiki looked at Akira.  "Call him what?"

    Akira ignored her.  "I'll admit I'm wrong, WHEN I see it.  So far, 
all the evidence backs me up."

    "Yeah, right.  You make it SOUND like it backs you up, but you're
just twisting things around."

    Akira started to make a fist with his hand, but quickly opened it, 
and flexed his fingers.  "Will I have to put up with your whining after
the photo test, or will you actually accept the truth?"

    Akane stopped holding her head, and glanced back at the 
conversation.

    "Wh- Whining!"  Ranma started to fume.  He stepped forward, and 
stabbed his index finger into the other boy's sternum, eliciting a 
satisfying grunt.  "You're the one who isn't accepting the truth.  Hell, 
how do I know you just won't just lie about the results?"

    This time Akira did make a fist, and his arms started trembling.  
"I DON'T lie.  Ever."

    "So what?  You could still 'interpret' my reactions the wrong way.
You're the one who's deciding what it 'means' when my eyes change size."

    "What do you want me to do?  I'd be happy to have someone else be 
the observer, but I'm the only one with the background knowledge.  If 
you had a pupilometer--"

    "A what-meter?" asked Nabiki.

    "Pupilometer.  It measures the dilation of the pupil."

    "Why on Earth would anyone want to know how big a person's pupil 
is?" she asked.

    "It's not about the size of the pupil.  It's a way to measure a 
person's physical reactions to stimuli."

    "Reactions, eh?"  She flipped open her book bag and pulled out a
manila folder.  She flipped it open in front of Akira.  "How about 
one of these?"

    Akira took the folder and started reading.  "Respiration, Heart 
rate, blood pressure.  Galvanic skin response?  This measures 
everything!"

    "And records it, too."
    
    "Really?" added Ranma.

    "So you don't have to worry about Akira... What did you call it?
Interpreting your reactions.  You can have someone else review the 
recording."

    Akira asked, "And you have one of these devices?"
    
    "I have ACCESS to one," she clarified.  "Meet me at the nurse's 
office after school, gentlemen, and you'll have your gizmo."

    "What's it gonna cost?" asked Ranma warily.

    "Cost?  Why, it isn't going to cost you anything!"

    "What will it cost ME, then?" added Akira.

    Nabiki frowned for a fraction of a second, but a smile immediately
reappeared on her face.  "You're so untrusting, Akira-baby.  It won't
cost you anything, either."

    He folded his arms in front of his chest.  "What do you expect to 
get out of this, then?"

    Nabiki pouted, "You're ruining a girl's fun, Akira.  I might think
you don't like me."  He started to sweat.  Much better.  "There isn't a
cost, but I can't just let you use this device by yourselves.  What
would I do if you broke it?  The owner would not be pleased."

    "Owner?"  Akira looked puzzled.

    Nabiki kept talking, not giving him a chance to think about what she
was saying.  No doubt he would have the brains to realize that he might 
be able to get the device directly through the owner, and not worry 
about complications from a middleman.  Honestly, he acted like she was
going to eat him up at any second.

    The thought made her smile, showing her teeth.

    "So in order to protect my client's investment, I only ask that I be
present for your... questioning."  She paused, just long enough to see
that her guess was right.  "Beyond that, I don't need anything else."

    "I guess..." said Ranma.  

    "That should be acceptable.  When?"

    "After school."  It was a Saturday, so it was just a half-day.  
"Twelve o'clock.  Wait, make it after lunch.  One o'clock, in the 
nurse's office.  Deal?"  She held out her hand towards Akira.

    He glanced at it warily, and then shook it.  
    
    "Excellent.  I'll see you there."  

    Ranma took that as his cue to leave.  "C'mon, Akane, let's go 
inside."

    She got up, brushing grass from off her skirt.  "Not just yet, 
Ranma.  I need to talk to Akira about something."

    "What, now?  We'll be late!"

    "Ranma," she chided him, "You didn't spar with your Dad this 
morning, so we left fifteen minutes early."

    "And you didn't let me sleep in?!"

    "C'mon Ranma.  I need to talk to him privately."

    "But..."  He didn't want her hanging around Akira.  The guy gave him
the creeps.  His only consolation was that Akane didn't seem interested
in the guy at all.

    "Please?"

    Before he knew what he was doing, Ranma stuttered, "O- Okay," and 
started walking to the school building.  Halfway there, he realized what
he was doing, and stopped.  Why had he just--?  For that matter, when 
did Akane start saying 'please'?  He glanced back.

    Akane was dragging Akira by the elbow away from Nabiki, underneath
a tree.  They were too far away to see their facial expressions, but 
from the way he was tripping and stumbling, he guessed Akane wasn't 
being too polite about it.

    Well, it looked like he wasn't going to try anything funny.  He 
decided not to worry about it.  Strolling back to front doors, his mind
fixated on something else: the possibility that Akane could get him to 
do things by being nice...

           *           *           *           *           *    

    Akira brushed himself off, and dropped the things Akane had barely
given him time to pick up: his book bag, the torn collar, and his 
umbrella.  "So what is it you want to talk about, Akane?"  He leaned
against the tree that was between them and any eyes from the school

    "One thing, first," answered Akane cheerily.  She poured the 
remaining hot water from the kettle onto him.  His shoulders drooped, 
as the liquid drenched his jacket and shirt, even dripping down to his 
pants.
 
    Hunched over, with water dipping off his arms legs.  He spluttered 
in dismay, "Why did you DO that?  What did I ever do to--?  Never mind."  
He cowered at Akane's raised eyebrow.  After splashing her with the 
Instant Spring of Drowned Man, he'd lost the right to complain about 
anything she did to him.

    "So you're not a girl."

    "Wh- What?"

    "I heard you're always getting splashed with water, so I figured 
that maybe you were cursed."  She shrugged.  "Nabiki splashed you with 
cold water, but I started thinking, what if you're ALREADY in your
cursed form?  Plus, you're so hot for Ranma, I though you might think
that a boy-girl was the perfect catch for a girl-boy."

    "Thanks a lot," he frowned, flicking excess water off his arms.  
"I've got no interest in Ranma like that, even though he's a girl half
the time."  Akane wasn't sure of what to make of the lingering glance he
was giving her.

    "Well, you're still unusually motivated for him to admit that he 
turns all the way into a girl.  There's gotta be a reason.  More than 
this book you're writing."

    "..."

    "Well?"

    "Yeah, there's another reason..."

    "What is it?"

    "It's...  private."  He gave Akane another one of those long 
glances.  It gave her the creeps.

    "I think I deserve to know.  Ranma's not ready to admit what the 
curse does to him, yet.  So I want to know why you're pushing him so 
hard."

    Akira blinked.  "Then... you believe me?  But you were the one who
wanted to prove to me that Ranma's a man."

    Akane started studying the tree bark.  "It.. wasn't to prove that 
he's a man.  I just wanted proof that Ranma couldn't ignore.  Whatever
machine Nabiki's got, well, he won't be able to say IT lied, right?"

    "Yesterday you seemed to agree with Ranma and his friend.  Ukyo.
What made you change your mind?"

    Akane turned back to face Akira, after having broken off a piece of
bark.  "I'll tell you, but only after you've told me your reason."

    "Fair enough.  I'll tell you.  Everything.  I need to get it off my
chest, anyway, and you're probably the perfect person for me to tell."
He chuckled.

    "What does that mean?"  She rubbed her fingers together, crushing 
the bit of bark in her hand.
    
    He chuckled.  "You'll see.  It all started about a week ago..."

           *           *           *           *           *    

    "Are you okay, man?"

    "The things I do for science."

    Daisuke tugged at the cord that suspended one of Hiroshi's legs.  
They and his arms were either in slings and casts.  His face and torso 
were also bandaged.

    "You know Ranma doesn't like to be grabbed like that."

    "Hey, Akira said he knew what he was talking about!"

    "I worry about you, Hiroshi.  Why can't you find a girlfriend who
isn't violent.  Or at least is a GIRL?"

    "Come back to me when you're not obsessing over a psycho."

    "Kodachi isn't a psycho.  She's just..."

    "Eccentric?"

    "...Highly motivated."  Daisuke smiled.  "I'm telling you, rhythmic 
gymnastics girls are where it's at.  Think about it.  The muscle tone...
The flexibility.  The rhythmic--"

    "The toxins!  The insanity!"

    Daisuke politely corrected him, "The creativity.  And with her 
experience with drugs, I'm sure she knows about all the best 
aphrodisiacs..."

    Hiroshi squirmed ineffectively.  "If I hadn't sprained every part of
my body, I'd be running away from you."

    "Yeah, yeah.  I already know you have poor judgment.  Of course, I 
didn't realize HOW bad until this morning."  He peered at his friend.  
"Are you sure you're not into masochism?"

    "Shut up!  I was PROVING that Ranma isn't a girl.  Akira says that 
the curse affects her mind, too.  I figured she should be happy when I 
provided definitive proof.  Grabbing her tits was a small price to pay 
for the advancement of science."

    "And of course, if it turns out that Akira's right...?"

    "Well, of course, I'd want to be there for such a historical 
discovery."  He grinned lecherously.

    "You DO like pain, don't you?"

    Hiroshi ignored him.  "Well, it doesn't matter.  He's not a girl.
Even after I grabbed her, her nipples didn't stick out."

    Daisuke shook his head.  "You've been reading too many lemon mags, 
man.  That's only when they're AROUSED," he explained authoritatively.
Like he had any idea, himself...

    "What, are you saying I can't turn Ranma-chan on?  I was rubbing for
at least--"

    "I DON'T want to know!  Geez, do you have some kind of death wish?"
    
    "Maybe you're right.  Maybe it wasn't long enough."

    "Ya think?"

    "We should really conduct another experiment.  Just to be sure."

    "And just who's 'we'?"

    Hiroshi smiled.  "Why, I think this is something all the boys would
want to know about."

    "..."

           *           *           *           *           *    

    Nabiki sat back in her chair, with her legs up on her desk.  She'd
spent the past ten minutes setting up the device for Akira.  At lunch-
time she'd finish the preparations.  The afternoon was going to be VERY 
profitable for her.  Her mood only improved when she saw Kuno stride in.

    "Kuno-baby!  How are you?"

    "I am well, thank you."

    She responded before he had even finished talking, "That's great!"
Now for business.  "And have you managed to free my sister and the pig-
tailed girl from 'sorcerer Tsu' yet?"

    "Who?"

    "Tsu.  You know, Akira?"

    "Ah yes, the new student.  But why do you call him a sorcerer?  Even
you must recall that it is Saotome who holds my two beloveds."

    Nabiki's jaw hung open.

    "Indeed, you were the one who told me of his magical spell that 
binds the pig-tailed girl's body and soul."

    "But--"

    Akira come out of nowhere and slid in front of Nabiki, with his arms
wide.  "Nabiki!" he practically shouted.  "I meant to thank you for 
earlier."  Sweat beads covered his forehead.

    "You're welcome."  She ducked her head to peer under Akira's arm to 
look at Kuno, but the kendo captain did not appear to be reacting like 
he had yesterday at lunch.  He was only frowning.

    Akira moved to block her view again.  "I won't need your help with
Kuno.  We've... come to an understanding on our own."

    Nabiki boggled at the statement.  Come to an agreement?  With KUNO?
She leaned the other way, to look at Kuno from the other side of Akira.
"Is this true?"

    Akira stepped in her way again.  "It's all in the past, now.  Best 
not to dwell on it."  He dumped a bag and umbrella onto his desk, behind 
her.

    "Actually, though, I do need to talk to you about something."

    "What?"  Nabiki was mildly annoyed that he was trying to keep her 
attention away from Kuno, but she could always talk to him later.

    "I was wondering if I could... rent some photos."

    "Rent?"

    "Yes.  Could I see those photos you showed me before?"  

    Grudgingly, although a little curious, she pulled them out of her
bag.

    He quickly flipped through them, separating them into two piles.
"These fifty, and I need another fifty photos of guys.  I don't suppose 
you have any?"

    "I do, but usually only the girls ask for them," she answered, 
mischievously.

    "Uh...  Not like that!"  He waved his arms.  "It's for the test, 
this afternoon.  Fifty picture of girls, and fifty of guys.  As many 
different ones as possible.  And no photos of Ranma!"

    "Actually, most of the boy photos are of Ranma.  But I should be 
able to scrape something together."  She tapped her chin with a finger.

    "I'll pay you 5000 yen to rent the photos for an hour."

    "Five thousand?  Just to 'rent' them?"

    "Yes.  Provided you can get me the other fifty photos."

    Nabiki thought about it.  Fifty photos of different men.  It would
actually be somewhat difficult.  Guys wanted photos of anything with 
curves, but the girls tended to fixate on just a few particularly 
handsome or popular boys, the best example of which was Ranma.  Over
the years, however, she was sure she had picked up enough photos to 
cover his needs.

    And 5000 yen was not small change.  Still, she'd have to go back
home to root through her collection to put everything together.  It
would cut into the time she needed to setup her plan for the afternoon.

    "Okay.  One hour rental fee for five thousand yen.  The photos 
you've selected here, plus fifty photos of guys."  If it took too long
to find the photos, she'd just arrive later.  They wouldn't start
whatever it was they were doing until she arrive to 'oversee' the use 
of the machine, anyway.

    "Right.  And I don't want duplicates.  Oh, and make sure there's
a photo of Ukyo, too."

    "Right."  She wasn't too happy about his bossy tone of voice, but
she was, as she liked to put it, a slave to money.  She picked up the
photos he had put aside, and started scanning them.  Right near the 
top was a picture of a raging Ukyo braining someone with her spatula.

    "Oh, and, uh, I'd like to buy these two photos."  Akira held up two
three-by-fives, with the backs facing Nabiki.  He didn't want her to 
see, eh?

    "Four hundred yen."

    "Three.  I'm already giving you five thousand for a rental."

    She raised her lower lip and said apologetically, "But that's a 
completely separate transaction."

    "Fine.  Three fifty."

    "Four hundred."

    "..."

    "Gee," she asked innocently.  "What photos did you pick, anyway?"
She tried to look at the front of the photos.

    "Here.  Four hundred."  He handed her four worn bills and slipped
the photos into his pocket, without letting her see the faces.  She 
chuckled.  

    "No need to be so paranoid.  I can be... discreet."  She winked.

    He jumped, and then sat down, laying his head on the desk and  
muttering into it.  She couldn't quite make out what he was saying.
Something about "just like Mother."

    Oh, well.  She carefully flipped through the rest of the photos he
had put aside, and then the remaining ones.  She quickly confirmed 
there were only two missing.  Glancing between the photos and a master
list, she soon determined which two he had bought.  One of Miyoko, a shy
girl with glasses and long black hair, and one of...  Akane.

    The things she could do with this information.  Another person with 
a crush on her sister was nothing new, but Miyoko might want to know
that the new boy was interested in her.  He was her upperclassman, and
somewhat attractive.  A shy type like her would kill for that 
information.

    She glanced back at the photo of Ukyo.  In it, her hair was swirling
about, held back by the long white ribbon she used to keep in it.  

    Maybe Akira didn't know she'd cut her hair.  She did look quite 
different with it cut short, and without the ribbon.  In the photo, she
was also wearing her okonomiaki chef uniform, which better showed off
her attributes.  

    She blinked, and then smiled.

    The teacher walked into class just as the initial bell rang.  
Nabiki put her stuff away, and answered attendance without really
paying attention.  She'd gotten a few hundred yen from Akira already,
and was going to get a few thousand more, to say nothing about what 
she'd be able to get from Miyoko for a potential boyfriend.  All this on 
top of the killing she was going to make from the fiancees of Ranma this
afternoon.

    And even if she couldn't figure out how to make money off the fact
that Akira didn't know that Ukyo was a girl, Nabiki was sure she'd still
manage to get a great deal of enjoyment from it. 

           *           *           *           *           *    

    Ryoga blearily opened his eyes, and stared up at the ceiling of his 
tent.  Glancing outside, he looked at the rising sun.  Judging from how 
far it had climbed up the southern sky, it was at least eight or nine in
the morning.  He'd really slept in!  Yawning, he stretched himself out 
of his sleeping bag.

    Getting up, he found his backpack and grabbed a bucket of 
toiletries.  He clawed his way out of his tent, trying remember where he 
had set up camp.

    Whatever happened, he had to make absolutely sure he didn't get 
lost!  He wanted to still be here when Akari arrived to pick him up.  It
was a good thing he knew his way around the Tendo household pretty well.
He could find the bathroom every time, and was pretty good about the 
dining room and Akane's bedroom, too.
    
    He wasn't so good with the Tendo yard.  About the only thing he 
knew was that the koi pond was just outside the dining room, there was
a path from the house to the dojo, and there was a path from the front
gate to the main entrance.

    He didn't see the front gate, koi pond or dojo.  That's right.  He'd
made a point of setting up his tent well away from the small body of 
water.  

    Actually he could see two buildings, but he wasn't sure which was 
which.  He carefully planned his movements before making a single step.

    He was safe as long as he didn't jump over or break through any
walls.  And no matter what, he mustn't go out the gate.  As long as he
didn't let himself get frustrated, he should be okay.  And since Ranma
had long since left for school, his main source of frustration was 
gone.

    He started walking forward.  (He was already pointed that way, so it
seemed the best direction to go.)  If he wandered around, sooner or 
later he'd bump into one of the paths.  If he followed them, he'd end
up either in the dojo, in the house, or outside.  It'd be easy enough to
eliminate the dojo and front gate, so he'd HAVE to end up in the house!

    Of course, these plans of his that 'had to work' had a rather 
annoying tendency of not working.  He frowned as he approached a wall.  
What was he supposed to do?  Not jump it or go through it.

    How do you get out of a maze?  Always turn right.  Or was it left?
He scratched his head.  Right.  He was sure of it.  And so he turned 
left and started walking along the wall.

    Why did this have to be such a chore?  Why was he cursed with such a
poor sense of direction?  He sighed, as he approached a corner in the 
walls.  He turned left again to follow it.

    Or why didn't he just agree to sleep inside?  He'd told Kasumi and 
Mrs. Saotome that he didn't want to get in their way.  True, all the 
bed and guest rooms were occupied, and it was improper to sleep in the 
dojo, but they had been willing to lay out a futon for him in the dining
room.

    But then he'd have to face Akane in the morning.  That was the real 
reason.  He couldn't stand to see her face, after what he'd said
yesterday.  She'd forgive him, but that would only make him feel more 
miserable.  Akane was too good for Ranma.

    Lost in thought, he almost missed the stone path.  Glancing down, 
he saw one end curve around to a building, and the other led to a door
in the wall.

    He started to walk towards the building when he stopped himself.  It
was always these rash decisions that got him into trouble.  Glancing 
back at the door in the wall, he noticed it did not have a roof over it.
And it was only a single door, rather than two large swinging doors.

    Well, it wasn't the front gate.  He should try this before going to 
the building.  Unlatching it, he stepped through.  Oddly enough, the 
other side of the door looked a lot like outside the compound.  
Cautiously, he backed out and glanced at the door, again.  

    He was sure it wasn't the front gate.  So it had to be the house or 
the dojo, right?  Or maybe this was a weird part of the yard he'd never 
been too.

    He peeked through again.  It looked like a street and sidewalk, but
he wasn't going to let that stop him.  It was trusting his instincts 
that got him into trouble, so he made sure NOT to trust his feeling that
this was the wrong way.  And so he walked out the door, letting it close
behind him.  As he started walking down the street, he failed to notice 
a small plaque attached to the outer wall.  

    Tendo Dojo 
    Rear Entrance.  Enter here to fight owners in savage combat.

           *           *           *           *           *    

    The Martial Arts Dating Club of Furinkan High had not had the 
demonstrations of affection to Akane.  Sure, there was that brief stint 
when Nabiki had taken the reins of Ranma's engagement and Akane had been 
free again, but it was still a long time for teenaged boys to wait 
between mobs.

    They needed another girl.  A new person to shower with love.  A 
goddess of the hunt they could attack with the fullest of their martial 
arts prowess!

    However, they had some reservations about the one Hiroshi was 
suggesting.  One boy spoke the thoughts of the others:  "But, Ranma's
a BOY!"

    The others murmured agreement.

    Hiroshi waved down the growing sounds of dissatisfaction.  Standing
on one of the benches in the locker room, he addressed the boys in his 
gym class.  "I have reason to believe that Ranma has been hiding the 
true nature of his curse from us this whole time.  New evidence has 
come to light that Ranma's girl side may, in fact, be 100% girl!"

    This time the murmurs were of surprise.

    "We don't know for sure.  That's why we need you, the fine men of 
the Dating Club, to find out.  We don't know what his girl-side's
preferences are, but I'm sure that among all of you, there must be one
that has the qualities she wants.  

    "So do your best to find out if she really is a girl, and what type 
of boy she likes!  Remember, she's been hiding her girl side the entire
school year, so she may be shy to admit her feelings.  So try your 
best!"

    "Yeah!"

    "We'll do it!"

    "I'll fight for your love, Ranma!"

    Hiroshi grinned.  "At 11:45.  It won't matter where Ranma is; he'll
become a girl and we can find out what she's really made of!"

           *           *           *           *           *

    Her mother had always warned her about the strange men that walked
the streets of Tokyo.  But she was a modern girl, and figured she could
protect herself.

    At the very least, she could hide herself among the massive crowds
of other people that walked the streets of Nerima.  

    That's why she started to get worried when, like a flock of birds, 
all the pedestrians suddenly changed directions simultaneously.  She 
suddenly found herself out in the open, all alone, facing a dangerous
looking man.

    Everyone else was striding quickly away from him.
    
    She tried to back away, but the frenzied man quickly ran up to her.
He wore a rumpled brown shirt, and worn, frayed pants.  Some scrap of
animal fur was in his hair.  At first she thought he was a deranged 
criminal, but when she saw his fangs, she realized it was a vampire.

    There weren't just strange men in the city.  There were monsters.
    
    "Please.  You have to tell me..."  He breathed heavily, raggedly.
    
    "What?"  She cowered before his intense, animalistic eyes.

    "Where...  Where is the Tendo bathroom!?!"

           *           *           *           *           *

    Thunk.  Hiss.  
    
    Startled shouts and squeals stopped the lessons short as water 
sprayed down into the classrooms.  The teachers attempted to maintain 
order as the students held up backpacks or books to try and stay dry, 
while rushing out of the building.

    One girl in particular had problems of her own.  Aside from the fact
that mere moments before she had been a boy, the male students were 
starting to gather around her.  Akane and the other girls -- a group 
which included the petite Miss Hinako -- had already dashed outside, 
leaving her behind with the boys.

    "Uh, guys?"  She tried to get past them, but they were blocking the
way out.  They also had... disturbing expressions on their faces.

    Suddenly, weapons were drawn, and with a single voice they cried, 
"Date with me!"

    And in one classroom, a single boy stayed behind.  Laughing 
maniacally, he pulled out an umbrella and snapped it open while sitting
at his desk.

           *           *           *           *           *    

    Ukyo scraped the top of her portable grill with one of her small 
spatulas, thinking about what she had just done.  Or rather, hadn't
done.  She'd known about the boys' plan.  She could have tried to stop
them.  Or at least tell Ranma.  A couple days ago, she would have told
him.

    Then again, a few days ago, she never would have heard the plans in
the first place.  It had started with the Dating Club, but spread to 
every boy in school but one.  And apparently she was now an honorary 
boy.

    Absently she ran her hand from the bottom of her neck to the crown 
of her head, feeling the short hair rise and fall with the passage of 
her fingers.  It felt quite different from when she used to run her 
fingers through her long hair. 

    Another minute and the grill would be the perfect temperature. 

    "Run!  She's coming!"

    "HE'S coming!" barked a female voice.

    "Help!"  A body soon decorated the sky.  A piece of art in motion.

    Maybe Akane had the right idea with this short hair stuff.  It was 
practically dry, already.  This short cut had more than one advantage.  
Too bad Ranma was too busy to notice.

    "Die!!!"

    "Methinks the lady doth--"  Kuno was squelched at the source by a
blow to the gut.  "Glk."

    "I'm NOT a lady!"

    Thinking about it, she felt she had made the right decision not to 
try to stop them by herself.  The boys looked rather... fervent, and 
wouldn't have taken politely to dissent.  She had no desire to fight off
a school full of boys, as Ranma was doing now.  

    But it wouldn't have hurt to have warned Ranma, would it?  Tell him 
that the guys were trying to 'scientifically establish' his girl-type...
preferences, and were going to set off the sprinklers?

    But...  She kind of wanted to know the answer herself.

    She drowned out more cries of fear, pain, and rage by dropping a 
blob of batter on the grill.  It hissed nicely, and spread just the 
right amount before congealing. "Perfect!"  A little cooking would take
her mind off her introspection.

    Now if only her clientele weren't running about, trying to chase
down (or avoid being chased down by) an irate Ranma.  Most of the girls
had headed home to dry their hair and change their clothes.  So who was
around to sell lunch to?  She gobbled up the coin-sized okonomiyaki, 
using years of cooking skills to avoid burning her mouth.

    "H- Hi!"  Sayuri nervously stepped up.

    "Hi, there," responded Ukyo cheerily.  It looked like she'd have one
customer, at least.  "What can I get ya?"

    "Um, a modern 'yaki, please."

    Ukyo flashed a grin, "Right, one specialty of the house!"  She 
carefully mixed together some batter and yakisoba noodles and slowly 
poured it on the grill.  No one else was here, so there was no need to 
rush.

    She noticed Sayuri blushing.  No doubt because she was still rather
wet from the boys' experiment.  "You wanna step closer to the grill, 
Honey?  The heat'll help you dry off faster."

    "Uh... Okay."  She smiled and stepped next to Ukyo, watching the
batter cook.  She also appeared to be fidgeting.

    "You okay?"  Sayuri was one of the few girls that hadn't reacted 
oddly to Ukyo's haircut, and more masculine mannerisms, recently.  All 
the other girls had distanced themselves, and seemed to be talking 
about her behind her back.  

    Not Sayuri, though.  She'd obviously been uncomfortable about it, 
but made a point of not avoiding her.  Now had seemed to have gotten 
over it, and was hanging around almost as much as the boys. 

    Sayuri said, "I'm... a little nervous.  I want to ask you something, 
but it's a little embarrassing."

    Ukyo couldn't help but grin.  "Well, ask whenever you're 
comfortable; I won't bite."  Sayuri started to pay her for the food, but
Ukyo held up her hand.  "On the house.  You seem to be my only customer,
so it's not worth unlocking the money tray.  Besides, you've been a good 
friend, recently."

    And Ukyo cherished her friends.  Finding a new one like Sayuri meant
the world to her.  It was bad enough when that idiot Genma took Ranma 
away from her.  All the girls in the neighborhood had taunted her 
mercilessly.  If even one had been willing to stay by her side, she
wouldn't have been so quick to give up her femininity.

    Once again, all the girls had turned their backs on her.  Or at 
least, were treating her differently.  All except Sayuri.  A little 
free okonomiyaki was the least of the ways to thank her.

    Sayuri nibbled on her 'yaki, with her mouth partially open, inhaling
at the same time.  It was the amateur's way to cool down hot food.  
Blow on it, or inhale when it was already in your mouth.  The rush of 
air would help cool it.  

    Ukyo swallowed, and nervously cleaned the grill top again.  With her
wet shirt, and breathing deeply like that, Sayuri was putting on quite a
show.  She might give the wrong impression to one of the boys.

    "Um, aren't you cold?  Shouldn't you be wearing your jacket?"

    "It got wet, too.  I'll dry off faster, this way."  She moved a 
little closer to the grill and put her hands over it, as if to draw in 
the heat.
    
    "Yeah, that's a good point."  Ukyo snapped her fingers and pulled 
off her bandoleer, and started unbuttoning her own boy's uniform.  Soon 
she had it off, and hung it from a shelf of the grill.  It was close 
enough to the grill to pick up the heat, but not so close as to 
potentially catch fire.

    After she took off the coat she stretched her arms over her head and
looked up at the sky.  It was a brilliant blue, with a few small fluffy
white clouds drifting along.  "It's a beautiful day out."

    "Y- Yeah.  Beautiful."  Sayuri looked at her and licked her lips.
    
    "Hungry?"

    "Wh- What?" Sayuri squeaked, turning bright crimson.

    "Want another okonomiaki?"

    "Oh!"  Her flush diminished.  "Um, I wouldn't want you to--"

    "Don't be shy; I can tell you want more."  She poured some more 
batter on the grill.  Sayuri started to reach for her change purse, but
Ukyo shook her head.  "Like I said, on the house."

    "I don't want it to seem like I'm taking advantage of you..."

    "Don't be silly, honey.  You should be worried about someone taking
advantage of YOU.  A pretty girl like you with a wet shirt like that?
You could attract the wrong type of boy."

    "R- Really?  You think I'm pretty?" Sayuri giggled.  Ukyo shook her
head gently while grinning.  She never really understood meek girls.
She'd tried to act that way herself a few times, but it always failed
miserably.  A girl should go after what she wanted.

    After all, the miles and years had not kept her from Ranchan!

    "You look very cute.  I'm sure one of the boys would love to ask you
out."  Well, that wasn't completely true.  There were a few boys 
interested in her, but they all seemed to think Sayuri had some sort of
killer crush on somebody else.  No one seemed willing to tell her who 
the boy was supposed to be, though.

    Sayuri didn't answer, but Ukyo knew that she was happy by her 
bobbing up and down.  She was hiding her mouth behind her plate, 
looking down at the grill.

    From the other side of the grill, a ragged male voice asked, "Ukyo?"
    
    "Hmm?"  She turned to see a rumpled Ryoga stagger over.  

    Ryoga stopped, and blinked a few times.  He started to glance 
around the school yard. "Oh, I'm sorry.  Have you seen a girl, here?  
Ukyo Kuonji?  She's about your height, with long hair and a white 
ribbon.  You've probably met her; she cooks okonomiaki, too."

    "I AM Ukyo, you idiot!"

    Ryoga eyed her carefully, and proclaimed, "You think I don't know a
boy when I see one?"

    She bludgeoned his skull with her large spatula.  "I think you've
made it quite clear that you DON'T know the difference between a boy and
a girl, you jackass!"

    Ryoga twitched.  "But... Your hair?"

    Ukyo turned her head to the side.  When her hair was long, the 
gesture would have swept her mane about with a dramatic flair.  Of 
course, nothing happened, now.  A little annoyed, she growled, "I cut 
it, alright?  What do you want, anyway?  Wait!  Let me guess.  You need
to find the Tendo dojo!"

    Ryoga blinked.  "But, we're already here."

    "What?"

    "You're trapped, too?"

    "What are you talking about?"

    "We're already in the Tendo grounds.  I think it's dimensionally 
transcendental, or something."

    "Trans-whatsis?"  Ukyo boggled.

    "Bigger on the inside then the outside."

    "Ryoga," explained Ukyo slowly, "we're not at the Tendos'.  This is 
Furinkan High School."  Ever the consummate cook, Ukyo flipped Sayuri's
'yaki off the grill and onto her plate.  Not even a distraction like 
Ryoga would make her burn food.  "Here you go, Sayuri-chan."

    Ryoga blinked.  So did the other girl.  Sayuri-chan?  He glanced at 
the dark-haired girl, who seemed to be melting into the consistency of 
batter, wearing a giddy smile.  He shrugged.  Must be some sort of 
childhood friend, like Ranma.

    "I know we're still at the Tendos'.  I stayed here overnight, and 
I've been trying to find the main building ever since.  I've seen the 
Tendo gates at least four times, and always made sure not to go through 
them, so I HAVE to still be inside."

    "Sugar, are you sure you weren't ALREADY on the outside when you saw
the gates?"

    "Uh..."  Ryoga suddenly felt quite uncomfortable.  He was so sure he
was still inside the Tends', but Ukyo, as usual, was making uncommon
sense.  It would explain some other things, too.  Like, there was hardly 
a need to keep a zoo on the premises, even if Mr. Saotome turned into a 
panda. 

    "Pork okonomiaki please, double meat!"

    That voice.  Ryoga turned around and saw red.  The boy was wearing a
school uniform instead of the white and red robes he had seem him 
earlier in the week, but he was sure this was the same person.  What had 
Ranma called him?  "Akira Tsu?"

    Akira sat down on a bench and glanced at him.  "Yes?  Can I help 
you?"

    "You kicked me..."

    "Excuse me?"

    "Last Tuesday night, I was almost at the Tendo Dojo, and you kicked
me.  For no reason whatsoever."

    Ukyo's voice raised to a more feminine register.  "What?"

    "I don't know what you're talking about.  I haven't attacked -- I 
mean -- I haven't kicked anyone," the boy claimed.  Ryoga noted that his
hands were wrapped with cloth bandages.  Was he a boxer?  "It was 
raining awfully hard.  Are you sure you haven't confused me with 
someone else?"

    "You were wearing a white and red Chinese robe, and were carrying
a white and purple cat.  You kicked me, stole my umbrella, and made me
get lost!"

    "Well, that description does sound like me.  But I certainly didn't 
kick anyone.  I FOUND an umbrella, which I borrowed..."

    Ukyo asked Ryoga, "This guy beat you up?"

    "N- No!  He didn't beat me up.  He just... disoriented me."

    Akira scratched his head. "Wait, I remember something...  A little
black piglet..."

    "Yeah!"

    "Piglet?  Did he have a yellow and black bandanna?" asked Ukyo.

    Ryoga froze.  If Ukyo made the connection...!  He repeated himself, 
this time cracking his voice with panic.  "Y- Yeah!  You kicked... that 
pig, too!  And it didn't do anything to you, either."

    "It was a pig.  I wasn't going to give it the chance to do anything
to me."  Akira's voice dripped with hostility.

    "He's only twenty centimeters tall!  What could he do?"

    "Bite me.  Give me rabies.  Or rub against my good pants.  Dirty 
little animals, wallowing in their own filth..."  

    "Uh," interjected Ukyo, "That pig sounds like Akane's pet P-Chan.
He doesn't have rabies, and he's quite clean.  She says he's so clean
that she doesn't have to give him hot baths."

    Ryoga littlesweated.

    "In fact, she lets him sleep in her bed with her, with her good 
sheets."

    Ryoga bigsweated.

    Akira was dismayed...  "She keeps a... PIG as a pet?  And lets it
sleep with her?  I can't believe it."

    Sayuri, who had been making herself innocuous behind Ukyo, chirped, 
"Hey!  P-Chan's a cute little piggy!"

    Akira frowned at her.  "All pigs are wild animals.  Or livestock.
They're certainly not pets!  It looks like Akane needs more help than I 
thought."

    "What?  What's wrong with Akane?"  Ryoga slammed his palms down.

    "Honey, one of these days you're going to learn not to do that."
After a few seconds, the sensation of heat made it through Ryoga's
battle-callused hands, and he took his hands off the grill, yelping.
Ukyo scraped off the remaining skin cells so they wouldn't contaminate
the food.

    "Here's your double-pork," she said, handing Akira a plate.  "Eight
hundred yen."

    Akira pulled out the money and gave it to her, biting into his 
food.  He chewed it and swallowed with a look of delight.  "I love pork.
Best way to get rid of the damned pigs."

    Sayuri positioned herself behind Ukyo, clinging to a handful of her
shirt.  After a few moments bouncing around and flapping his hands, 
Ryoga calmed down, and asked Akira again, "What's wrong with Akane?"

    "Well..." He munched.  "It's not so much her, but Ranma's curse.
He won't admit--"  Akira stopped, and glanced at Ukyo.  "Uh, I guess 
it's private."

    Ryoga frowned.  "You can tell me; I'm Akane's friend."  He didn't 
like the sound of what this guy was saying.  Something was wrong with 
Ranma's curse?  And it was affecting Akane?

    "I'm Akane's friend, too," piped in Sayuri.

    "We're all friends of Akane," said Ukyo.

    Akira finished his food.  "If that's the case, you can ask her, 
yourselves.  This is between Akane, Ranma, and maybe Ryoga Hibiki."

    Ryoga pointed at his face.  "That's me!"

    "You're... You're Ryoga?"  Watching the other boy nod, he 
enthusiastically said, "This is great!  You can help me and Akane with
Ranma."

    "So what's wrong?"

    "Here, follow me."  Akira started walking towards the school.

    "Where are we going?"

    Akira turned around and smirked.  "You'll see."

    Ukyo and Sayuri watched Akira lead Ryoga towards the school.  He 
almost lost the martial artist, but noticed the other boy drifting off 
course and physically dragged him behind.

    "I wonder what's wrong with Akane," mused Sayuri.

    "We can ask her later."  She was more concerned about Ranma. 
    
    "I guess.  And why does that guy hate pigs so much?"

    Ukyo started to clean up her grill.  She doubted there would be any 
more customers, anyway.  "Some people are just like that.  They believe
things without having reasons to.  They're just close-minded."
    
    "I'm not close minded!" said Sayuri.

    Ukyo smiled.  "Yeah, well you're one of the good ones, Sugar."

    "Do you want to see Maximum Overdrive with me?"

    Ukyo paused. "Huh?"

    "I really want to see it, but I... I get kinda scared at that type 
of movie."

    "Well, that's not surprising.  It IS a horror movie, after all.  But 
why don't you see it with Yuka?  Or Akane?"

    "Yuka's not interested in horror movies.  And Akane...  Well, she's
worse than me."

    "What?  Really?"  Ukyo leaned closer.

    Sayuri blushed before continuing.  "She's really tough on the
outside, but scary movies and parks and rides..." she trailed off. "Once
we went together to see The Company of Wolves.  We thought we could give
each other moral support, you know?  But we both just ended up screaming
our heads off.  The management asked us to leave..."  Sayuri lowered her
head and blushed.

    Ukyo could help but laugh a little.  "So Akane's not brave enough, 
eh?"

    "Oh, please don't tell anyone!  Akane would hate it if she found out
I told anyone."

    "Don't worry about it, Sayuri-chan.  I won't tell anyone."
    
    "Th- Thanks.  So, will you come with me?"  Ukyo noticed that she was
fidgeting again, this time from nervousness.  "It's at eight o'clock, at
the Fountain Cinema," she hastily added.

     Normally Ukyo stayed open about that late on the weekends; it was 
good for business.  Then again, she never kept very regular hours, 
between school and visits to Ranchan, so her customers wouldn't be 
surprised if she closed up a little early.  Besides, she'd be helping
her new friend.

    "Sure thing, Honey.  I'll see you there."

    "Great!  Thanks!"  Sayuri hopped up and clapped her hands together.
"I'll see you tonight!  Bye!"  She waved her hand and dashed off.

    Ukyo shook her head and finished closing down her grill.  She didn't
understand girls her own age.  What exactly did they go through when 
they were growing up that she had missed?

           *           *           *           *           *

    Akane waited for Ranma by the entrance to the nurse's office,
wearing the uniform she had originally come to school in.  The back was 
still a little damp, but it was better than the completely wet clothes
she had run out of the building with.

    She had gone to the lockers in the separate gymnasium building to 
get her clothes, leaving Ranma with the other boys.  Eventually the fire 
department had turned off the sprinklers in the main building and given 
the OK to go back in.  Of course, most of the other students had already
taken the opportunity to leave early for the day.

    She, however, was waiting for Ranma to finish whatever it was he was 
doing with his friends outside.  

    While she waited, she thought she heard people moving inside the 
nurse's office.  There were voices, too, but she couldn't see who they
were through the frosted glass.

    After almost ten minutes, Ranma finally arrived.  Apparently he had
found some hot water to change back into a guy.  Still, his hair was 
disheveled, and she could see tug marks and pulled seams on his shirt.
One of the string ties had been ripped off.

    She frowned at him.  "What took you so long?" she asked.

    "Had to beat up every guy in school," he muttered.

    "Never took me that long."

    Ranma stared at her wearily.  "Let's just get this over with."

    They opened the door to find Akira wearing an apron and mopping the
floor.  He glanced up as they came in.  "Oh!  You're here.  Perfect!"
He put the mop in a bucket, but not before clumsily banging it against 
a door.  "Come in.  Everything is set up over here."

    The couple walked inside and glanced at the office.  Furinkan was
a pretty big school, but even so, its infirmary was especially large.
There was the main room that had a dozen beds, most of which could be 
curtained off.  There a separate examination room, a bathroom, 
janitorial room, an office proper, and a storage closet for bandages, 
antiseptic, aspirin, and indigestion medicine.

    Or, as it was more commonly known: the self-serve cabinet.
    
    Akane noted that, even after the sprinklers, all the surfaces where 
completely dry.  Akira took off the apron, and walked towards a wheeled
cart.  "Fortunately, Nabiki left the machine covered, or we would have 
had some problems."  He flipped an opaque plastic covering off a device
about the size of a large typewriter.

    "Ranma, I'll need you to change into a girl and lie down, here."
He patted one of the beds, which was next to the cart, and had been 
pulled away from the wall.
        
    "Excuse me?" Ranma made a fist, ready to fight.

    "Um, remember?  You have to be a girl for this test..."

    He glanced at the bed.  "You're not gonna try to give me an 
'examination' or anything, right?"

    Akira made a distasteful face.  "Excuse me?"

    "Ranma!"  chided Akane.  "What was that for?"  Talk about 
insensitivity!

    "Well, every other guy seems to want to cop a feel," he replied 
defensively.

    "Rest assured, I do NOT want to 'cop a feel,' Saotome."

    "Well, why not?"

    "RANMA!"  Akane shoved him towards the sink.  "Just change, 
already!"  Honestly, him and his stupid pride!  He didn't want to be a 
girl, but he was always making a point of how good-looking his girl-side
was!  "Why can't you act normal for once?"

    Flipping the handle to the sink on, he said.  "Hey, everyone else is
acting weird, so I should be fitting right in."

    "Everyone, eh?"  It sounded like Ranma was including her with that 
statement.  "So you finally admit that Ukyo's acting weird, too?"

    "What?  So she cut her hair, big deal.  I know you say it's 
important to girls, but... Well, I just don't think it means that much 
to her.  She's never been a normal girl, like you are."

    "Ranma.  It's not just the hair.  It's the hanging out with boys, 
and...  Well, haven't you noticed how she always appears out of nowhere
when you turn into a girl?"

    "What?  That's stupid.  You make it sound like she's lying in
wait."  Running his fingers under the water, he checked the temperature
of the water and filled a disposable paper cup.

    Akane almost suggested that he just spray himself directly from the
faucet (Happosai did it to him often enough), when another thought
distracted her.  "Hey, what do you mean, a normal girl like me?"

    Ranma blinked, and Akane thought he might have started to blush.  
She couldn't be sure, though, as he quickly splashed himself and 
slipped by her.  Hopping onto the table.  "Alright.  I'm ready for the 
test."

    "Ranma..."

    "Ranchan!  Wow, imagine meeting you, here!"  Ukyo's head peered 
around the door.

    "Ucchan, how's it going?  What brings you here?"  Ranma smiled.

    Ukyo came into the room, closing the door behind her.  "I was 
looking for Akira, here."  She pointed at the boy, who was plugging
wires into the machine.  "I met him outside, and I just realized that 
he wasn't wet, like everyone else.  I don't suppose you're the one who 
set off the sprinklers?"

    Akira dropped a wire, startled by Ukyo's question.  "What, me?  Of 
course not!  I just happened to have my umbrella with me."

    "What, on a day like this?"

    "Is it a crime to carry an umbrella?" he responded irritably.

    Ukyo looked thoughtful for a moment when Akane anticipated her next
question.  "He's not cursed.  Although he does come from Jusenkyo."

    "Oh.  Well, speaking of curses.  Akane, what's this I hear about--"

    "RANMA!"  Akira suddenly shouted.  "We should get started.  If you 
could lay down?  And Akane, stand by the polygraph?"

    Ranma obligingly brought her legs up onto the table, scooted herself
over, and lay down, rustling the long white sheet of paper spread across
it.  Akane moved towards the cart with the device, to one side of the 
table.  

    "Poly-what?" asked Ranma.

    Akane started sweating, and glanced at Ukyo, who appeared 
disinterested.  Ranma might not submit to this test if she knew what was 
really going on.

    Akira answered with a lecturing tone.  "Polygraph.  It takes 
measurements of many bodily functions and records them.  'Poly' for 
many, and 'graph' for write, or record.  Actually, I'll have to attach 
some of these sensors to you."

    Ranma let Akira put a band around her upper arm, some sort of 
plastic clothesline clip on a finger, and a coiled thing around her 
chest.  "Those will measure your blood pressure, heartbeat, and 
respiration rate.  I'll skip the GSR sensors, since I don't really know 
how to attach them."

    He pulled up a seat.  "So the way this will work is that I'll ask 
you questions, and Akane will watch the readings."  He looked at Ukyo,
who was starting to fidget.  "Um, Ukyo, if you could stand behind Ranma?
It's kind of important that she not be able to see you.  I know, you can
watch me and make sure that I'm not trying anything funny."

    "Okay."  She walked to the end of the table, so she was behind
Ranma's head.

    "Actually, you could help me with that, there?"  He gestured to some
sort of band attached to her end of the bed.  "We need to strap Ranma's 
head down."

    "What?"  Ranma sat up.

    "It's just to keep your head still.  I need to be able to watch your
eyes, so it's imperative that your head not shift around.  Besides, 
you'll still be free to move.  We're not tying your arms or legs down."

    Ukyo giggled, "Don't you WANT me to strap you down, Ranma honey?"
    
    "Wh- Wha?"  Gurgling noises came out of Ranma's throat.
    
    Akane barked, "Ukyo!"  She would have expected a comment like that 
from Kodachi, not her!

    "Geez, calm down, Akane.  I was just making a joke."  Ranma seemed
to calm down a bit, herself, and Ukyo ran the belt over her forehead, 
fastening it to the other side.  With a firm tug, she tightened it.  

    Akane hoped it was a joke.  Yeah, Ukyo wasn't into... bondage, or 
anything weird like that, right?  She was a simple country girl.  Of 
course, she did dress in boys clothing.  And bind her breasts.  

    "Akane?"

    "Bindage?"  The world slipped out of her mouth.
    
    Akira blinked.  "Are you alright?  You were spacing out there, for
a minute..."  He started to take the pulse from her wrist.

    Ranma squirmed.  "What?  What's going on?  I can't see!"

    "Honey, don't move your head!"

    Akane shook her head.  "I'm fine!  What were you saying?"

    "Just turn on the machine, that switch on the right side, and we'll
get started."

    "But what about Nabiki?"

    Akira littlesweated.  "What about her?"
    
    "Aren't we supposed to wait...?"
    
    "Well, she said that she wanted to be present for the questioning, 
but she didn't say she had to be there before we started..." he said 
suggestively.

    "Well, she obviously meant she didn't WANT us to start without her."

    Akira frowned.  "You're right.  I guess we should wait for her to 
show up, even though we don't know how late she might be.  I guess 
wouldn't hurt to have another witness for the questioning.  She could 
make sure I was asking the right questions about Ranma's curse, and how 
he acts--"

    Ranma spoke up from the table.  "That's not necessary."
    
    "Actually, the more I think about it--"
    
    "Alright!  Let's get started!"  shouted Ranma.  "Turn that polygram, 
on, Akane!  Like the man said, it's Nabiki's own fault she's late, and 
she didn't say that we HAD to wait for her."

    Akane frowned, but agreed.  "If you say so."  She flipped on the 
machine, which hummed to life.  Little needles jumped to attention, 
leaving parallel lines on the paper which scrolled underneath and onto 
the floor.

    "A few last minute adjustments..."  Akira tinkered with the gizmos
on Ranma, watched the lines on the machine, and then took up a position
standing next to the table.   He placed a pile of photographs face-down 
next to Ranma's legs, and started to shuffle them.

    "What I'm going to do is similar to a double-blind test.  You won't
know whether I'm going to show you a photo of a boy or girl, and neither
will I.  

    "You won't have to worry about me showing you a picture of a boy, 
and then misinterpreting a SLIGHT change in the size of your pupils as a 
sign of interest, or showing you a picture of a girl, and assuming a 
change in the size of your pupils was just due to a small change in the
ambient light.  I won't know which photos are which, so I'll have to 
make a judgement without any foreknowledge of what's on the photo."

    Ranma frowned.  "Why should that make any difference?  You saying 
you're going to lie?"

    "No," began Akira, "At least, not intentionally.  But we both know 
that you're trying to prove your case, and I'm trying to prove mine.
I'll try to be objective, but subconsciously I might try to skew the
results in my favor.  This way, I won't have an opportunity to.  And 
you won't have anything to complain about if the tests come out in my
favor."

    "But they won't."

    "Well.  We'll see, won't we?  Let's begin."  Akira grinned, and 
pointed a swinging lamp directly at Ranma.

    "Hey!"  She shielded her eyes from the light with one hand.

    "Put your arm down.  The extra light will make your pupils contract.
That way it's easier for me to see the degree to which the size of your 
pupils are changing."

    Ranma frowned, but did as she was told.  After a minute or two, her
eyes became adjusted to the light.  She felt like she was in some sort
of cheesy police movie, getting the third degree.  Actually, since Ukyo 
was behind her, and Akane to the side, just out of her peripheral 
vision, and the light darkened Akira's form, she felt eerily alone.

    She heard Akira shuffle the photos one last time, and place them 
face-down on a table next to her legs.  "Now, before we start...  Had 
you heard that the Principal is a really a hermaphrodite?"

    "WHAT?!"  barked Ranma, Akane, and Ukyo.

    "You hadn't?  Well, that's not terribly surprising, considering that
I just made it up."

    Ranma growled.  "Then way did you ask?"  
        
    "Just making sure I had your attention."  He flipped a photo over,
holding it so that it illuminated by the lamp.  It was a picture of a 
boy.  A senior he'd seen with Nabiki a few times.

    Even hidden by the glare of the light, Ranma could tell from the 
silhouetted posture of Akira that he was watching her reaction 
intently.  It reminded her of the leers she had received in the last 
half-hour.  He'd better just be staring into my eyes, she thought.  

    Wait, that didn't sound right, either...

    Akira flipped the next photo in front of Ranma.  Another boy.  
After a second, he put it face-down into another pile.  With a slow, 
regular rhythm, he showed successive pictures.  Some were glossies, and
others were Polaroids.  Girl.  Girl.  Girl.  Girl.  Boy.

    Instead of the next photo, Akira suddenly asked, "So, how do you 
feel about boys?"

    "What do you mean?" she asked suspiciously.

    "You're sure you don't like them?"

    "I'm SURE I don't like them."  They just wanted to gawk at her or
grab at her, or do other weird things she didn't want to think about.  
Stupid school was full of pervs...

    "ALL boys?  Are you sure there isn't even a single boy you like?"
Idly, he flipped over another photo.  It was Hiroshi.

    "No.  All boys are JERKS!"

    A strange noise came out of Akane, which Ranma couldn't identify.
From behind, she heard Ukyo ask, "Uh, Ranma...?"

    Akira's head moved into the light, showing his grin.  He asked in a 
self-satisfied tone, "Really...?"  
    
    "What?"

    "All boys are jerks?"

    "Yeah, aren't you paying attention?"  What, was this guy deaf?  Or 
did he like to hear himself talk?  Geez, his face gave her the creeps, 
what with the shadows from the overhead lamp.

    "What about you?"

    Ranma blinked.  "What about me?"

    "Are you a jerk?"

    "No."  She waited for a second for Akane to contradict her, but she 
still hadn't said a word.

    "But I thought you said all guys are jerks?"

    "They ar--"  Ranma grimaced.  Why that no-good...  "Okay, I'M a guy, 
and I'm not a jerk, alright?  Not all guys are jerks."
    
    "I wonder, do you really believe that?  Or are you just saying it 
now so as not to contradict yourself?  It's interesting that you didn't 
include yourself among guys when you first talked about them."

    Ranma really wanted to hit this guy.  Sure, he wasn't a martial
artist, and he couldn't fight back, but it would feel a lot better than 
what she was putting up with now: a verbal assault, where Akira took 
everything she said and made it sound like something completely 
different!

    "Why're you asking these dumb questions, anyway?  I thought your
test here was supposed to answer everything.  Now it looks like you 
don't trust it."

    Akira stepped back a bit, his face receding into the darkness.  "Oh,
I do believe the test will work.  I just want to get a rise out of you."

    "What?!" she growled.

    "Hey!" added Ukyo.

    "By putting you into a more... shall we say, feral, state of mind, 
your responses will be heightened.  It's much easier to read your 
reactions."

    Ranma couldn't think of a good comeback to that.  So instead she
shut up.  She wouldn't give him the pleasure of responding the way he
wanted her to.

    After it was clear that she wasn't going to respond, Akira started
flipping over more photos.  The pace somehow seemed more... leisurely.
It felt like she was bring taunted.  Girl.  Boy.  Girl.  Girl.  Boy.  
Girl.  Girl.  Girl.

    "So you say you've never acted like a girl, right?"

    Ranma spoke evenly.  "Just get on with your photos."

    "Afraid to answer?"

    "I'm not afraid, I just know you'll take it the wrong way.  So why
should I bother to answer?"  Soul of ice.  Show no emotion.

    Akira rubbed his chin.  Or at least, that's what Ranma thought she
could see in the glare.  "Fair enough.  How about I put it this way.  
Have you ever thought of yourself as a girl?"

    "No."  Don't raise your voice.

    "Not even when you got hit on the head?"

    "Huh?"

    "I understand you once thought of yourself as a girl for several 
days.  You talked like a girl, acted like a girl, went lingerie 
shopping..."

    Ranma tried to sit up and get off the bed, but her head was still 
strapped down.  "Th- That never happened!!!"

    "That's not how I understand it."
    
    "It's a lie!"
    
    "Ranchan would never act like that!"

    Akira addressed Ukyo.  "Do you know about the incident in question,
then?"

    "W- Well, no," she said uncertainly.  With more enthusiasm, she 
added, "But I know Ranma.  If he says he didn't do it, he didn't do it!"

    "Oh?"  He now addressed Ranma.  "So you're saying you didn't act 
like a girl?"

    "Hell, yeah!"  Wait, that was a negative question.  "I mean, no
way!"  She grunted with frustration.  She knew Akira was trying to trip
her up.  "I didn't act like a girl!"

    "So how did you act?"

    "Hey, I got hit on the head!  Sometimes you forget stuff."
    
    "So you don't actually REMEMBER whether you acted like a girl or 
not."

    "I know how I act," he answered evenly.

    "I'm afraid I'm going to have to believe the recollections of an 
actual eyewitness over your own rather dubious claims."

    Ukyo asked, "Eyewitness?"

    "What, did Nabiki tell you that dumb story?  She's always trying to 
make fun of me."  Just because he lost his memory, they all made up a 
story of what she had done for the missing days.  Nabiki and the rest of 
the family.  And of course they knew how upti--  how little she liked 
her girl-side, so they decided to make fun of her for it.  

    "No..."

    "Was it my old man?  Did he tell you?"   

    "It was me."

    "Wh- Whaaat?"  She couldn't believe it!  How could she betray her 
like that?  "Akane?  How could you tell him that lie?"

    "It ISN'T a lie, Ranma...."

    "Look, I don't know why you and your family and my old man insist 
I was acting all girly because YOU hit me in the head.  And even if I
DID act that way -- which I DIDN'T -- it's because you gave me a 
concussion!"

    Ukyo asked, "You mean this really happened?"

    "Ranma," pleaded Akane, "I know you don't want to accept it, but..."
    
    "That's 'cause there's nothing TO accept."
    
    Ukyo tried to follow the conversation.  "Ranma really acted like a 
girl?"

    "Forget this!  I'm outta here!"  Ranma pushed aside the lamp and 
started to unfasten the strap across her forehead, when the door to the 
hallway swung open.

    Akane glanced at the door worriedly.  They were just starting to 
get to the heart of Ranma's problem, and someone was interrupting.
Ranma was trying to crane her around to see the door, but wasn't
very successful.

    "You started without me?"  Nabiki stood in the doorway, hands on her
hips.  There was just the faintest tone of accusation in her voice.

    "Ah, well, you never actually said we had to wait for you," replied
Akira.  "Or course we wouldn't dream of finishing without you.  You
did say you wanted to be present."

    "Splitting hairs?  I must say I'm quite disappointed in you, Mr. 
Tsu."  She raised an eyebrow just a fraction of an inch to show her
displeasure.  "I suppose you don't need these photographs, after all?
She waved a stack of glossies with one hand."
    
    "Ah, no.  I managed to pick some up from your associates.  Not as 
many as I wanted, but I decided I could make do.  And I'm sure my 
compensation will more then make up for any personal feelings you might 
have."  Akane noticed the corner of his mouth twitch just the slightest 
bit. "Besides, I wanted to get some stuff out of the way before any 
other business you might have with Ranma."

    She blinked.  "Other business?  Why, I'm sure I don't know what 
you're talking about."

    Ranma had finally removed the strap when they all found out what the
other business was.

    "Airen!"
    
    "Ranma, darl-- You?  The brazen pig-tailed hussy!"

    Shampoo skipped into the room, while Kodachi pulled out a ribbon and
whipped it at Ranma.  The end wrapped itself around the reclining girl, 
holding her securely to the table.  She to struggle free, but didn't 
have any leverage; her legs, arms, and chest were held down.  

    "What are you two doing here?" she yelled.

    "Shampoo come get truth from Ranma!"  She bounced next to him, 
smiling cheerfully.

    "Yes, as did I."  Kodachi glared menacingly at her.  "So why do I 
find YOU here?  Are you planning on stealing my beloved from me?"

    "Um, excuse me?"  Ukyo had a strained smile.

    "Aiya, what is Ukyo doing here?  You not pay Nabiki!  And Akane!
Why they not have to pay?"  

    Akane blinked.  "Pay?  For what?"  She glanced at her sister.

    Kodachi responded for her.  "Your mercenary sister has promised us a
way to make sure that Ranma will finally admit the name of she whom he 
loves best.  Myself, of course."

    "Shampoo not think so."

    Ranma struggled against her bonds.

    Nabiki cleared her throat.  "Ladies!  The deal was that you would 
each have time to ask Ranma questions, and you'd know if he was lying."

    "So we ask him who he loves!  He lie; we know!"  noted Shampoo.

    "Hey, why didn't I think of that?" added Ukyo.  She slapped a fist
into her open hand.  Akane glanced down nervously at the piece of 
equipment she was tending for Akira.  They knew what it was.

    "What the hell are you talking about?  I don't have to answer your
questions.  What makes you think--?"  Ranma paused for a second, looking
at the typewriter-sized device, and then comprehension dawned on her.  
"Oh my God, It's a LIE DETECTOR!!!"  Panic edged into her voice.

    Akira scratched his head.  "You DID say you wanted the test results
to be unambiguous..."

    "Get me outta here!"

    Shampoo nuzzled against her.  "You tell other girls you love 
Shampoo, and they leave us alone."
    
    "Yes, you do that," mocked Kodachi.  "And while you have your sordid
way with the pig-tailed girl, Ranma darling will be mine!  Oh HO HO HO 
HO HO!"  

    "I'll handle this, if you don't mind."  Akane let Nabiki take over
by the polygraph.  Ukyo, Shampoo, and Kodachi surrounded Ranma and the 
table, so she stood slightly to one side with Akira, watching the 
proceedings worriedly.

    Akira whispered to her, while watching Ranma.  "It's not what I 
expected, but it will probably do."

    Akane tried to guess what he had meant by that.  Meanwhile, she
watched three women trying to get answers out of her fiancee.  Shampoo
had jumped onto the bed and straddled the bound Ranma, shaking the other
girl's head.  "Tell truth now, you love Shampoo!"

    "What have you done to my darling Ranma?  Why isn't he here?  Did 
you do something to him?  Tell me now, and don't even think about 
lying!" 

    "Don't worry, Ranchan.  I won't let them do anything to you.  
After all, I'm your best friend, right?  Right?"  Akane wasn't sure she 
liked the gleam in the okonomiyaki chef's eyes.

    Ranma tore her head and hair free of Shampoo's grip.  "Even if 
you've got me hooked up to this dumb machine, that doesn't mean I have 
to answer your questions!"

    "True!"  Nabiki chimed with a smile.

    "Why you not want to tell Shampoo?  Do you hate her?"

    "No, that's not it at all!"

    "True!"

    "Then what?"

    "You'll all kill me!"

    "Shampoo not hurt you," she pouted.
    
    "What, even if I say I don't love you?"
    
    "That not happen."
    
    "But if it DOES?" pressed Ranma.
    
    "Shampoo not hurt you even if you say you love another."
    
    "False."  Everyone turned to Akira.  "Trust me, she's the--"

    "STUPID BOY SHUT UP OR SHAMPOO STICK BONBORI WHERE SUN DOESN'T 
SHINE!!!"

    "..."  Akira wilted and shut up.
    
    Nabiki chirped in again, "I'm guessing that Shampoo's statement was 
true."

    Kodachi pointed a juggling pin at Ranma's neck.  "Enough of this!
Where is Ranma?  Where have you hidden him?"

    Ranma sighed.  "He's right here."
    
    "True!"

    "What?  In this room?  Is he safe?"

    "I don't know."  She sighed.

    Nabiki blinked.  "Uh...  True."
    
    Kodachi immediately left Ranma and started throwing curtains aside
from the other beds.  "Where is he?  Ranma, sweetums?  Where are you? 
Can you hear me?"

    Akira's gaze lingered on Kodachi, but everyone else put her out of
mind as soon as he was out of sight.
  
    "Maybe Shampoo will not happy if Ranma not say he loves her best."  
She leaned forward.  "But if he say nothing, see have to use... Chinese 
Foot Torture on Ranma!  Ancient secret passed down though eight-hundred 
ninety-four generations of Amazon womens."  She got off of Ranma and 
went to the end of the table, pulling off Ranma's slippers.

    Ranma struggled, but still couldn't free herself.  She tried to 
move her feet, but Shampoo simply grabbed one toe and held it still.
"I- I'm not saying anything."

    "You sure?"  Shampoo drew the edge of a fingernail across the sole
of Ranma's foot, causing an unpleasant sensation that make her leg 
spasm.

    "I won't talk."  Sweat dripped down her face.  There was no way.  No
way she'd ever tell them.  If she did...

    Nabiki sighed.  "Maybe the person Ranma loves isn't even in the 
room.  No matter what he says, you'll all beat him up."

    Kodachi reappeared in their midst.  "Where?  Where is Ranma?  Where 
do you people see him?"  She gracefully leapt to the janitorial room 
and opened it, looking inside. 

    Ranma ignored Kodachi, "Yeah.  That's it.  What makes you even think
I have a true love, huh?  Maybe I don't."

    "False!"

    "Wha--?" 

    Ukyo was the first to respond, "So you do have a true love?  Is she
in the room?"

Ranma tried to remember what she had said?  Did she give anything
away?  "N- No.."
    
    "False!"
    
    Shampoo hopped, "So love IS in room!  Wait.  Is just Spatula girl,
Shampoo and Pervert girl."

    "Did that harridan tie you up?  Did she drug you, that hateful 
witch?  I'll rescue you!"

    "And crazy girl," she added.  Everyone watched as Kodachi continued
to leap and hop around, opening doors and peering into rooms and 
closets.  "We not learn anything new."

    Ukyo muttered, "Well, we know there isn't a girl on the side..."

    "Unless he love Nabiki," added Shampoo.  
    
    "Hmmm."

    Ranma didn't like the funny looks Ukyo and Shampoo were giving her.  
"What?"

    "You DON'T love Nabiki, do you, Ranma?"

    "Of course not!"

    "..."  There was a noticeable lack of anyone saying 'true' or 
'false.'

    "Nabiki?"  The girls faced the Tendo behind the polygraph, alarmed
by her silence.  More so by the blush on her face, as she watched the 
paper stream by.

    "Oh, Ranma!  I never knew!"

    "WHAT!?!"  

    Ranma shriveled at the group yell.  Even Akane looked betrayed.
"N- No!  The thing's got to be broken!  She's lying, I don't love her!"

    Nabiki instantly dropped the emotional schoolgirl routine.  "True."

    "Nabiki!"  Akane yelled at her sister.

    She sighed.  "I just always thought I was in Ranma's heart.  To
find out he doesn't love me, and know he's telling the truth...  My
poor heart!"

    "Knock it off!"

    "Heh."  Nabiki grinned and stuck out her tongue.

    Ukyo muttered, "So now we know for sure.  It's Shampoo, Kodachi, 
Akane or me."

    "Which is it?" prompted Shampoo.  "Who does Airen love?"

    No way.  No way was she going to tell them.  Hell, she wasn't even 
sure, herself, right?  That excuse crumbled to dust.  She knew, but she
didn't want to say.  First they'd all beat on her, and then they'd beat
up...

    But one thing she had learned at Jusendo was that time was short.  
What if she never got a chance to admit who she loved?  They'd never 
know.

    Actually, if she admitted it now, they'd KNOW she was telling the 
truth!  This might actually be a GOOD thing.

    "Airen?"

    "Ranchan?"

    "Ranma?"  Akane watched her fiancee's expression change from 
determination, to a sort of indecision, and back to determination.  Was 
she finally going to say it?

    Akira leaned forward.  "Here it comes."  

    Kodachi, meanwhile, had opened the last door and stepped back in 
surprise.  "You?!"

    Ranma licked her lips.  "The one...  The one I love is..."

    "What?  Am I supposed to come out now?"  An emotional, powerfully 
built, but terminally shy martial artist came out of the bathroom.

    While everyone else turned to see the new arrival, Akane and Akira 
stared directly at the eyes of the girl who spoke next.

    "Ryoga?"
        
    "NO!"  Akane picked up a chair and hurled it at Ranma.  The seat 
caught the bound girl directly in the face, knocking the bed over onto 
the ground.  The attached cables and wires were suddenly pulled taut, 
jerking the polygraph clear off the cart and smashing it into the floor.

    "Ranchan!"  Ukyo was instantly by the dazed Ranma's side, using a 
small spatula to cut her free from the ribbons.

    "Shit!"  Nabiki was instantly at the polygraph's side, checking the
casing and the mess of graph lines from its sudden landing.

    "No!  The pictures!"  Akira was instantly by the table, picking up 
the photos scattered on the floor.  "I can't tell what order they were 
in!"

    "YOU!"  Shampoo was instantly in front of Akane, pointing a bonbori
at her head.  "Why violent girl do that!?"

    "Who cares if this harridan has declared her love for that boy?"  
Kodachi peered into the room Ryoga had walked out of.  "Are you in 
there, Sweetums?"

    "What are you talking about, Kodachi?"  Ukyo finally released the 
unconscious Ranma, and demanded, "Why on Earth did you throw that chair 
at my Ranchan?"

    Ryoga scratched his head.  "Did I come out too soon?"

    Shampoo's glanced at Ryoga, and then back at Akane.  Her eyes bugged
out.  "YOU!  You stupid pervert girl!  You did it!  You really did it!
You make girl-type Ranma like BOYS!!!"

    Akane backed away, followed by the eyes of Kodachi, Ukyo, and 
Nabiki.  "N- No..."

    "What?" asked Ryoga intelligently.

    "But you can't even be BOY right, so now Ranma fall for stupid Lost
Boy!  You really IS sexless!!!"

    Ryoga spluttered, "What?  N- No, she -- HE -- doesn't love me..."
Akane looked confused by his answer.  "Uh, that is, she doesn't love me 
anymore..."

    "Any..."  started Ukyo.

    "...More? finished Shampoo.

    "Ryoga..." growled the first.
    
    "Akane..." hissed the second.

    "What have you been doing with my Ranchan?"

    "What you do to Airen?"

    Outside, Nabiki didn't have to wait long for the sounds of a Battle
Royal from inside the nurse's office.  "Well," she told herself, "they 
won't have to go far to patch themselves up.

           *           *           *           *           *

    Ranma walked along the ground, a few paces ahead of Akane.  She had
wanted to go on the fence, to free her mind from thought and absorb
herself with the act of balancing, but her headache made that 
impossible.

    "I said I'm sorry," whispered Akane.

    Ranma glanced back at her fiancee.  The short-haired girl had 
performed better than she would have expected, but it had still been 
three-on-one.  Well, after Ryoga had accidentally wandered off, anyway.  
A Band-Aid covered the bridge of her nose, and gauze was taped to one of
her cheeks.  Other assorted scrapes, bruises and contusions covered the 
rest of her body.

    "Why did you do it?  You only made everything worse!  You knocked 
the lie detector over, so we can't read the lines right, and you 
spilled Akira's photos so he doesn't know which ones I reacted to, and 
which ones I didn't!"

    "But you said...  You said you loved Ryoga.  I didn't want the 
others to find out.  They weren't even supposed to be there."

    "I DIDN'T say I loved Ryoga, I was going to say who I loved, and 
Ryoga stepped in!  I was just surprised!"

    "But your eyes...  Your pupils got bigger; I saw it.  Akira said 
that means--"

    "Who cares what he said?  Geez, why do you even believe him, anyway?
You've known me for over a year.  You never thought I turned into a girl
before!"

    "I also didn't know that you get a period!  Or that you're in love
with Ryoga."

    Ranma stopped walking altogether.  "I am NOT in love with him!"

    "But Ranma..."
    
    She waved her hand.  "I know you believe that we had some sort of 
weird relationship, but it's not what you think.  Me'n Ryoga aren't
like that."

    "But you were whimpering his name in your sleep!"

    "I-- What?"

    "This morning.  You were tossing and turning and calling Ryoga a
jerk.  You're not over him yet, Ranma."  Why couldn't Ranma see that 
she was just trying to help her come to terms with her other half?

    "Aw, geez, it's not what you think, Akane.  I'm not upset that 
he..."  her face contorted with distaste  "dumped me.  It's something
different."

    "Ranma, I'm only trying to help you."  She reached for her arm, but
Ranma pulled it away.

    "You would have helped me a lot more if you hadn't thrown that 
stupid chair.  Now we don't have ANY proof from that stupid test of
Akira's.  I went through it all for nothing!

    "If you hadn't made a mess of it, this would all be over.  Akira'd 
know I'm really a guy.  And everyone else would have known that I..."  
He turned away from Akane, and started walking again.

    "What do you care?" she continued.  "You must love this.  You've 
always said you hate boys, so its better for you if I really am half-
girl."

    "Ranma, that's not true!"  Akane started to chase Ranma down.  This
was precisely the sort of thing that Akane wanted to help Ranma with!
Because of her curse, she was insecure about her masculinity.

    "I just want to help you!  You have to accept your female side 
before you'll ever be comfortable as a man!  As a whole person."  Why 
couldn't Ranma see?

    "Say what?"
    
    "If you keep your girl-half bottled up, you'll never be complete.
You'll always worry about her, hiding somewhere within you.  You have to 
bring that side of your personality out.  She's already a part of you, 
you just have to accept her."

    "I'm a guy!  I'm not going to 'accept' any female stuff!"
    
    "Ranma, I know what it's like.  A little.  Remember, I was splashed
with the Instant Spring of Drowned Man.  I was a guy for a few hours, so 
I've got some idea of what you've gone through.  I know being in a 
different body is scary..."

    "I ain't scared of nothing!"  Still, Ranma blushed as she said it.
    
    "It's harder for you.  You know ABOUT a girl's body, but you haven't
really... experienced it.  You have to worry about women's problems, 
with your body, and perverts, but you've always managed to avoid letting
yourself actually identify with other women.  But you can't run away 
forever, because you're only running from yourself!"

    "I'm not..."  Ranma floundered. 
    
    "Please, Ranma.  I don't want you to try to be a girl, or start 
acting like one.  I'm not asking for that.  I just want you to admit 
that you have a female side.  If you hide a part of yourself too long, 
it'll wither away.  You might lose something precious.  If--"

    A moment of clarity struck Akane, freezing her in place.  Her words 
echoed in her mind.  It was hollow, inside.  She knew, then, that she 
had been hiding a part of herself, as well.  If she continued, it too 
might wither away.

    She was going to lose something precious.

    "No."  She wouldn't let it happen.

    Ranma brought her back to her senses, tapping her on the shoulder.
"Akane?  Akane?  Hey, are you alright?  You hit your head in that 
fight?"  She was looking at her worriedly.

    "Ranma?"  She took one of the smaller girl's hands into her own.

    "...Yeah?"

    "I love you."

    "Wh- What?!"  Ramna swallowed.  "Is this a trick?  Are you sure 
you're feeling alright?  I can take you to--"

    Akane put her finger on Ranma's lips.  "I love you.  I won't lose
you."  She closed her eyes and smiled.  Time was precious.  Jusendo had
shown her that.  Her mother had shown her that.  She couldn't waste life
trying to deny a part of herself.  Ranma was obnoxious and rude, a self-
centered insensitive jerk...

    But she loved him.  The dummy.

    Ranma swallowed.  "R- Really?"

    Akane nodded.

    "Y- You know that I...  That I..."

    "I know, Ranma."  She wouldn't make her say it.  Ranma wasn't ready 
yet.  At least, not to say the words.  Akane could be ready for the both 
of them, for now.  "I know."

-------------  ---------------------------------------------------------
 End Part 12    Next Time:  "The Dew of Love"
-------------  ---------------------------------------------------------

Thanks to Vincent Seifert, Gary Kleppe, and D.F. 
Roeder for their feedback and constructive criticism. 



    "Which is it?" prompted Shampoo.  "Who does Airen love?"

    Ranma licked her lips.  "The one...  The one I love is..."

    "Yes?"  All the girls leaned forward.

    "Me!"
    
    A collective facefault followed.
    
    "I'm the best looking, I'm a better cook, AND a better martial 
artist than all of you put together!"  She laughed maniacally.  "I'm
the perfect wife!"

    Ukyo pulled out a sharpened spatula, and Shampoo matched it with
a glinting scimitar.  "If you're going to be the perfect wife, I guess 
we'll just have to make sure you're ALL woman, then," said Ranma's cute 
fiancee.

    Akane produced a bucket of hot water and a blunt bamboo shinai.  
"This might hurt a bit..."